


pretty good bad idea (me and you)

by rawmelivia



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, but it's gonna be cute i swear, dahyun gets played, unnie line are players, well i hope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-05-20 17:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14899265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawmelivia/pseuds/rawmelivia
Summary: “Lastly, if any of them starts flirting with you, run far, far away.” Jihyo nodded behind Chaeyoung and Tzuyu to a table at the back of the room, next to the window.“What?” They whipped around and their eyes fell on four girls, who, strangely, they recognized.“Wait, we saw them earlier,” Chaeyoung said. “At Dahyun’s locker this morning.”“Yes, you’ll see them everywhere,” Mina said. “They’re the closest thing this school has to royalty.Tzuyu seemed skeptical. “Royalty? Bit cliche isn’t it?”“Cliche, but true,” Jihyo said, maintaining her seriousness. “Everyone in this school is in love with at least one of them.”Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, and Sana are notorious flirts and Dahyun was really just trying to survive freshman year





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, this is my first published fic so go easy on me. I'm pretty excited about this idea so hopefully I'll be updating promptly. Enjoy!
> 
> Title is from Bad Idea from the musical Waitress

“I hate your happiness, I hope you know that.”

Jeongyeon unslung her arm from Nayeon’s shoulders, much to the older girl’s chagrin. Across the lunch table, Jeongyeon met Sana’s petulant frown with an unimpressed glare.

“Trust me, the nonstop moping made it obvious.”

Sana huffed, stabbing into her lunch. “It’s just ridiculous. We were a team, Jeong! Nayeon’s flirting was never supposed to amount to anything, you were supposed to be stronger than that!”

Nayeon chuckled. “We all knew she’d succumb one day.” She reached up to pinch Jeongyeon’s cheek, earning a groan and a shove for her efforts. Sana frowned deeper.

“I don’t know why you think we can’t be a team anymore. Nothing has changed,” Jeongyeon said, earning yet another scoff from Sana. “What?”

“Of course things have changed. Two of my best friends since elementary school started dating each other and you’re all gross and sappy now.” Sana wrinkled her nose.

“I thought being gross and sappy was your thing,” Nayeon said.

Sana opted to ignore that. “We can’t exactly flirt with underclassmen together anymore if you and Nayeon are busy with your committed monogamy.”

“Of course we can!” Both girls glared at Jeongyeon. “Okay, maybe not. But you still have Momo.”

At her name, the girl looked up from her tray, where she had been working her way through enough food to feed a small army. “Whmm?”

“Momo is too invested in eating to fill both of your places in the group,” Sana said.

Swallowing thickly, Momo spoke. “She has a point.”

“It’s just not the same!” Sana groaned.

Nayeon stretched an arm across the table. “Oh, come on, Sana, cheer up! It’s the first day of a new school year, plenty of new girls for you to flirt with. You could find something like what Jeong and I have.” She smiled sweetly at her girlfriend, who responded in kind, though it was rather forced.

“Who says I want something like your relationship?” Sana said. “We flirt with people, it’s what we do! It’s how we became friends.”

“Ah, yes,” Nayeon reminisced. “It was third grade. You tried to kiss Jeongyeon on the playground and Momo and I teamed up to push you off the slide. What a beautiful start to a lifelong friendship.”

“I still have the scar from when we told Jeong how we had successfully defended her honor and she threw a truck at us,” Momo said, giggling.

“See what I mean? We would never have made such beautiful memories if Nayeon and Jeongyeon decided that they ‘like each other’ or ‘could stand being in the same room’.” Sana said. “I feel like an era is coming to an end.”

“Sana, nothing is coming to an end. We’re all still friends. Momo still eats like a pig, I’m still awesome, Nayeon is still annoying.” Jeongyeon grinned, only slightly faltering when her girlfriend hit her shoulder. “It’s just the same old group.”

Sana looked between the three girls skeptically, pouting deeply as ever. She wasn’t reassured. It was the first day and this school year was already going downhill. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, her friends were in a happy relationship. This sucked.

~~~

Dahyun stumbled through the halls, weaving her way between the students and tripping every other step. She stuttered apologies over her shoulder to the people she’d bumped into as she all but sprinted to her locker. It was the second day of class and she’d already overslept. Tightening her tie with one hand and clutching her backpack with the other, she arrived at her locker, only to be greeted by the disgruntled faces of her best friends. Their slight displeasure turned to slight fear as Dahyun skidded to a halt and desperately began to open her lock.

“Chaeng, Tzuyu, how are my bestest friends in the world doing this fine morning?” she said, wrenching her locker open and throwing books into her bag almost randomly.

“Whoa, okay, slow down.” Chaeyoung reached out with the apprehension of a zookeeper approaching a rabid lion, stilling her friend’s rapid hands. “What’s happening?” Dahyun turned to her, almost in an almost fanatic daze.

“I overslept and I had to run here and I think I made some enemies in this hallway but I made it so now I have to get to class, if you don’t mind.” She returned to her frantic rummaging in her locker, only to find her way blocked once again by Tzuyu.

“You need to calm down.”

Dahyun huffed. “What I need is to get to first period, Tzuyu. First impressions are very important, what you do the first few days in high school set you up for the next four years.”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes. “What impression do you think you just made bolting down the hall like you’re on fire?”

Dahyun opened her mouth to respond, but found herself floundering, running her hand through her hair. “I, uh well, now that you-”

“Hey, freshie, you okay?”

The three friends turned around to see a girl leaned against the row of lockers across the hall, eyebrows raised and slightly concerned. She had short blonde hair and her arm was wrapped around another girl with rather large front teeth. Dahyun stuttered, blood still racing from her sprint down the hall. Before she could answer, another girl joined the couple.

“Jeongyeon, Sana said she has a problem with something in the gym and she needs your help,” the girl said.

The blonde girl, apparently Jeongyeon, groaned. “Ugh, fine.” She turned to Dahyun. “Try not to kill yourself before second period, alright?”

Dahyun nodded quickly. Jeongyeon and her girlfriend headed down the hall with their friend, although with none of the scrambling and weaving that Dahyun had employed to make it through the crowd. It was more like sauntering. In fact, the crowd seemed to part just for them. Dahyun was confused, but still running very high on adrenaline and desperate to get to her class.

“Okay, well it’s been lovely talking to you, and them, whoever they were, but I have to get to science now.” She shut her locker with a bang. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu both opened their mouths to speak but Dahyun was off before they could get a word out. “I’ll see you at lunch!” she shouted over her shoulder.

They turned to each other, twin looks of exasperation on their faces. Chaeyoung ran a hand through her hair.

“How long until she realizes her class is the other direction?”

“Excuse me, sorry!”

“High school is already so much fun.”

~~~

True to her word, Dahyun met Chaeyoung and Tzuyu at a table in the cafeteria a few hours later. She seemed to have calmed down since the episode that morning, but her hair was still a bit of a mess and her tie had never been totally straightened. She plopped her bag down on the bench across from them with a dramatic huff and sat down in the same manner. Chaeyoung just chuckled and slid her a tray of food.

“You’re an angel, Chaeng, I don’t tell you that enough,” Dahyun sighed as she dug in.

“How’d your first impression go this morning?” Chaeyoung asked, smiling at her friend’s antics.

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it,” Dahyun said, shoveling rice into her mouth.

“That bad?” Tzuyu asked. Dahyun groaned in response. “Come on, what happened?”

“Well, I made it to Science on time, but apparently I ran into my teacher earlier when I gave my track team try out in the hall. He didn’t appreciate having his coffee spilt on him first thing in the morning. I don’t think my punctuality was enough to give me a good reputation with Mr. Lee.” Dahyun groaned as Chaeyoung burst out laughing. Tzuyu couldn’t even hold back her small smile. “Hey, stop laughing!”

“Stop doing stupid things for me to laugh at,” Chaeyoung said through her laughter.

“This is tragic, Chaeng,” Dahyun said. “It’s going to follow me for the rest of high school.”

Tzuyu offered a comforting pat. “You’re being overdramatic, Dahyun. It’s not going to follow you for the rest of high school.” Chaeyoung, finished with her hysterics, nodded in agreement.

“Aren’t you that freshman who was running through the hallway like a maniac this morning?”

Chaeyoung started laughing again.

Dahyun looked up to see two older girls standing next to their table. One had large eyes and was clutching a clipboard, the other stood poised like a queen to her side. Dahyun grimaced.

“Yeah, that was me.”

The poised one cracked a smile and the one holding the clipboard seemed to be fighting back her own grin for the sake of professionalism. “Well, as student rep, it is my responsibility to tell you that running in the halls isn’t allowed,” she said. “But as someone who’s had the displeasure of taking Mr. Lee’s class, I have to thank you for spilling his coffee all over him.” She grinned brightly, and Dahyun felt slightly more at ease.

“My name is Jihyo,” said the one holding the clipboard. “And this is Mina.” She gestured to the girl next to her.

“I’m Dahyun, and this is Chaeyoung and Tzuyu,” Dahyun said.

“All freshmen?” Jihyo asked.

“Unfortunately,” said Chaeyoung. Jihyo laughed goodnaturedly.

“Yeah, it’s an awful year.” She looked around the cafeteria. “We could give you some tips if you want. Technically we’re supposed to be fundraising right now, but it wasn’t going anywhere.”

Chaeyoung snickered. “Oh, please give Dahyun here some tips. She’s one more hallway dash away from the hospital.” Dahyun scowled at her friend, but nevertheless moved her stuff over so Jihyo and Mina could sit down.

“Alright so, this is JYP High.” Jihyo took on the air of a business professional giving a final markup for the quarter. “It’s not that hard to succeed in this school, but you should follow some basic guidelines. Principal Park seems easy going but you should really try to keep off of his bad side. Don’t use the bathroom in the north hall, it’s basically just used for smoking weed. Don’t smoke weed. If Lee Sunmi asks you for something, just do it, don’t ask questions.” Dahyun nodded, wondering if she should start taking notes. It seemed like a lot, but her fears were also slightly abated. It felt handleable.

“Lastly, if any of _them_ starts flirting with you, run far, far away.” Jihyo nodded behind Chaeyoung and Tzuyu to a table at the back of the room, next to the window.

“What?” They whipped around and their eyes fell on four girls, who, strangely, they recognized.

“Wait, we saw them earlier,” Chaeyoung said. “At Dahyun’s locker this morning.”

“Yes, you’ll see them everywhere,” Mina said. “They’re the closest thing this school has to royalty.

Tzuyu seemed skeptical. “Royalty? Bit cliche isn’t it?”

“Cliche, but true,” Jihyo said, maintaining her seriousness. “Everyone in this school is in love with at least one of them.”

Dahyun started to share Tzuyu’s skepticism. “Well, I’m sure they’re popular but this seems a little extreme.”

“Just let me explain a bit more,” Jihyo said. “The one with brown hair and bunny teeth is Im Nayeon. Her parents own Im Corp., she’s absolutely loaded. Lives in some giant house downtown, throws ‘the biggest party of the year’ almost every weekend. She doesn’t know half of the attendees but they definitely know her. She’s the queen bee, with a little less evil scheming and little more airheadedness.”

As they watched the group, Nayeon leaned into the girl seated next to her, earning what looked like protest from the other friends and the girl herself. Dahyun recognized the girl from earlier, Jeong... something.

Jihyo answered Dahyun’s question before she voiced it. “Short, blonde hair is Yoo Jeongyeon. Notorious girl crush, captain of the basketball team. She’s the top of the junior class. Apparently she and Nayeon started dating over the summer. I have no idea how it happened, they always seem to be fighting.”

Jeongyeon shoved Nayeon away and went back to eating her lunch. Nayeon looked offended and said something they couldn’t make out. Another girl, who Dahyun recognized as the friend who had appeared at the lockers earlier, burst out laughing.

“The girl with bangs is Hirai Momo. She’s on the dance team with Mina here.” Jihyo gave her friend an accusing look.

Mina bit her lip. “Momo is… well, she’s a good dancer, I’ll give her that. As big of a flirt as the rest of them, really sweet but a bit slow. Honestly, she might have been perfectly nice if the rest of them hadn’t gotten to her so young.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes. “Mina has a soft spot for Momo.”

“I do not.”

“Please, Myoui, save it for someone who believes you.”

“It’s not like that-”

Tzuyu cut in. “Who’s that last one?”

They turned to look once again, and saw the last girl putting up her best attempt at pouting as her friends tried to make her laugh. Jeongyeon reached a hand out to her face and she brushed it off, a smile cracking through her frown.

Mina and Jihyo shared a look, serving only to increase the younger three’s curiosity.

Jihyo took a deep breath. “That’s Minatozaki Sana. Arguably the most dangerous of them all.” Dahyun was going to cut in, saying that seemed a little harsh, but Jihyo went on. “She will flirt with anything that moves. Really bubbly, giggly, but that’s only the facade that covers the beast within. Broke Eunha’s heart last year. And Joy’s. And Jennie’s. And-”

“I think they get it, Jihyo,” Mina cut in. 

“I’m just trying to give them the most accurate information.”

Mina shrugged. “It’s dramatic, but it’s true. You shouldn’t get involved with them if you can help it.”

Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu just nodded, still a bit disbelieving. The bell rang to signal the end of lunch and Jihyo and Mina stood.

“I hope we were helpful,” Jihyo said with a genuine smile. She really did seem to have the girls’ best interests in mind. “If you ever need anything else, assistance in figuring out the school and what not, you can ask Mina or I.” Mina nodded in agreement. “Good luck with freshman year.”

They waved goodbye and followed the stream of people out of the cafeteria. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu started clearing the trash from the table, but Dahyun was stuck in her own thoughts. She thought about the group of girls and everything Jihyo said about them. She was inclined to believe Mina and Jihyo, but the girls didn’t seem that bad. They seemed kind of… nice.

Dahyun stood and followed her friends out of the cafeteria. She split with them at an intersection and headed down the hall she thought (sincerely hoped) lead to her Algebra class. Her mind continued to churn. She thought back to that morning, when her heart was racing and she was freaking out, and Jeongyeon offered some help. Or just to that talk in the cafeteria. Jihyo and Mina had made them all out to seem so nefarious or dangerous, but the four girls were just laughing and joking over lunch, a lot like Dahyun and her own friends. It didn’t feel like she needed to be afraid of them. But still there must me some reason for the warning?

Deep in thought, she was walking almost blindly and didn’t notice the person in front of her, or the wet floor sign, or her foot slipping. Until she heard a crash, and found herself on the floor with a growing pain on the back of her head and warm body on top of her.

“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry,” she stuttered. The person she’d run into groaned and propped themselves up on their elbows, hovering over Dahyun.

Dahyun’s heart almost stopped when her eyes refocused and she made out the face currently inches from her own.

“No need to apologize,” Minatozaki Sana said, smiling like a serpent.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there we go, that's the first chapter. Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought!


	2. Chapter 2

Sana smiled to herself slyly as she walked down the hallway, shoes tapping against the freshly polished linoleum. The sound echoed through the emptiness of the school. A high school after the final bell rings feels very similar to an ancient mausoleum. Huge, hollow, haunted. The atmosphere couldn’t have been more different from Sana’s mood. 

A certain event from earlier in the day kept coming back to her, and she could feel something like anticipation humming in her veins. Something very fun was coming. And she was excited for it. 

This energy carried her through the halls and to the gym. Taking a right at the double doors, she walked to the very end of the corridor and knocked on a door that looked like it might have been closed since the school was built. It opened with a long screech, piercing eerily through the deserted space.

“There she is!”

Sana was ushered through the door by an enthusiastic Momo. She looked around, taking in what appeared to be an abandoned office. Nearly the entire space was taken up by a battered dest, a dirty chalkboard, and a sagging coach. A thick layer of dust covered everything. Sana beamed. “You were right, Jeong, it is perfect.”

“Thank you!” Jeongyeon responded from the couch. Nayeon, seated next to her, huffed. “ _ Someone  _ disagrees.”

Nayeon sniffed disdainfully. “There is dust everywhere.”

“No, but we can fix that,” Sana insisted, sitting down in the desk chair and spinning. The chair felt like it might break under her weight. “It’s exactly what we were looking for.”

“I agree,” Momo declared, plopping herself down on the couch with Jeongyeon and Nayeon. It groaned ominously under their weight. “Are you sure we’re allowed to be here though?”

“Well,” Jeongyeon squinted in thought, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling, “not exactly. Coach said I could stay after school for practice, which I’m not doing. But I’m pretty sure the administration doesn’t even know this is here. Can’t have rules if the place doesn’t exist.” Sana and Momo giggled, only making Nayeon look more disgruntled.

“Come on, babe, smile! It’s great.” Jeongyeon implored, reaching out to mess with her girlfriend’s collar. “Just admit that I found us the perfect hang out spot. Come on. Just admit it.” She grinned goofily, and Nayeon’s scowl started to crack with her girlfriend’s antics. Their faces started to get closer. 

“Hey!” Sana interrupted. “I have something to tell you all, and it is definitely going to cheer you up.” 

The couple stopped abruptly and separated reluctantly, twin looks of skepticism on their faces. 

“This better be good, Minatozaki,” said Nayeon.

“Oh, it is. I…” Sana paused for dramatic effect. “Met a girl.”

The room was thoroughly underwhelmed.

“That’s it?” Jeongyeon asked, deadpan. Nayeon rolled her eyes. Sana scoffed, taken aback. 

“Yes, that’s it,” Sana said, offended. “Not good enough for you?”

“Sana,” said Momo, “you meet a new girl everyday. I love you,” she made a sympathetic face, “but that is no longer news.”

“No, no, I’m telling you, this was special,” Sana insisted, leaning forward of the desk.

Jeongyeon heaved a sigh, deciding to give in. “How’d you meet her?” 

Sana smiled proudly.

“Fell on top of her.”

Nayeon gave a burst of laughter. “Damn, Sana, you really work fast now, don’t you?”

Momo chuckled almost disbelievingly. “How did you  _ fall _ on her?”

“Well, it was more like she fell into me, but I ended up on top.” She smirked playfully. Jeongyeon looked at her, eyebrows raised. Sana’s grin only widened, recalling the moment in pristine detail. 

_ She had been walking to her Chemistry class from lunch, trying to remember the room number. She paused in the hall, reaching to search through her bag for her schedule, when a blunt force hit her back, nearly knocking her feet out from under her. She was thrown off balance and spun to see what had happened, only to slip on the wet floor and collapse on top of the person who she assumed had initially bumped into her. Her face landed in their neck and she groaned, pain lancing up the hand she had thrown out to break her fall.  _

_ “Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry.”  _

_ Sana heard the stuttered apology and felt the vibrations of the person’s voice thrum through the side of her face pressed against their throat. Raising herself up on her elbows, she struggled to get a look at this person. She blinked, clearing the daze of the blow from her vision and, for a moment, she was breathless. It wasn’t because of the fall. _

_ This girl was beautiful. Even woozy and half unconscious on the floor, she was radiant. Her hair was splayed out on the floor underneath her, shining in the fluorescent lighting, and her soft features were drawn into a grimace. She looked like a sleeping princess, if said princess had just been woken up by someone shoving her out of bed onto the floor. Despite the pain shooting up her arm, Sana smiled. _

_ “No need to apologize.” _

_ Sana saw the girl’s eyes light up with the fearful recognition of prey spotting predator. She scrambled desperately from underneath Sana and stood up, half formed words and syllables spilling from her mouth. It seemed to be taking a great amount of effort with her injured head. Sana was quick to follow her up. Now standing, she took notice of their height difference, and smiled wider. That was always fun. Shorter girls tended to be easier to fluster. She decided to take full advantage of the situation. _

_ "I’m Sana,” she said, leaning forward slightly, causing the girl to step back. “What’s your name? I don’t think I’ve seen you around.” She was beaming brightly but the girl’s eyes only widened, fear obvious. _

_ “Uh, D-Dahyun,” the girl said, spluttering like a fish out of water. Sana’s eyes glinted devilishly. _

_ “Nice to meet you, Dahyun.” She enunciated the name, savoring it. Dahyun gulped. _

_ “How is it that I missed a pretty face like yours in this school?” Sana asked, tilting her head. _

_ Dahyun’s eyes widened further and she mumbled, spitting out something like “frshmn”. _

_ “Ah, you’re a freshman,” Sana said. “Well, if you need any help, getting acquainted with the school and all that...” As she spoke, she crowded even further into the girl’s space. Dahyun found her back pressed against a locker and panicked. _

_ She coughed, clearing her throat and trying to jump start some courage. “Um, uh th-thank you for the offer, but I have, I have to go, I have class.” She tried to walk off, but Sana put up an arm, trapping her.  _

_ “What? No, you’re hurt, after that fall.” She pouted and Dahyun gulped again. “Let me take you to the nurse.” _

_ “No, no, really, I’m fine.” Dahyun stammered. _

_ Sana leaned in, impossibly closer. _

_ “I could kiss it better.” _

_ Dahyun gave a strangled cry and forced her way out of Sana’s grasp. “No, no, I think it’s good, I’m fine, what fall? Right as rain, perfectly okay. Goodbye, Sana.” She left hurriedly, blushing bright, and Sana smirked in her wake. _

_ “See you later, Dahyunnie!” _

 

Sana grinned after telling the story, taking pride in the looks on her friend’s faces. They all looked shocked, but not too shocked. Momo’s mouth was dropped open, and Jeongyeon exhaled shortly, biting her lip in amusement. 

“Wow, Sana,” she said. “I’m surprised you didn’t devour her right there in the hall.”

“Well, she gave her best shot, didn’t she?” Nayeon laughed. “Almost gave the poor kid an aneurysm.” Sana tried not to snicker with pride at that.

“Why do you think she was so afraid of you?” Momo asked.

“She probably heard about Sana’s reputation,” Jeongyeon said.

Sana mock gasped, clutching her chest. “What ever could you mean by that, Jeongyeon?”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, Sana.” She affected a high, imitating voice. “‘We flirt, it’s what we do!’ You’re the worst of us all, everyone knows it.”

Sana continued her offended act, looking to the other girls only to receive affirmative nods in response. She dropped it, shrugging with a smug nonchalance. 

“Well, I guess I can’t fight it, if the people have spoken.” She leant back in the desk chair, gazing up at the ceiling. “I don’t know though. This girl felt different from the other girls i flirted with.”

“Maybe you’re just not used to getting rejected so quickly,” Nayeon suggested, earning a laugh from the other two on the couch.

Sana shook her head at the ceiling. She didn’t think that was it. She felt a different sort of pull to Dahyun. It wasn’t just fun to flirt with her, it was exhilarating. It was like a caffeine shot to her brain every time she remembered the girl. Sana felt her smile widen at just the thought. She was very excited to see Dahyun again. As soon as possible.

~~~

 

“SHE FELL ON TOP OF YOU?”

“Well, I think technically it was my fault.”

Chaeyoung just looked around, flabbergasted. Her eyes wandered around the shelves that surrounded them, as if searching for an explanation in the spines of worn books that hadn’t been checked out in ages. They had come to the school library to study, already bowing to the increased pressure of high school, but Dahyun was burning. She had to tell them about her incident with Sana in the hall that afternoon, spitting it out of nowhere over their World History textbooks. She received quite the reaction. Chaeyoung looked like she was reenacting some sensational scene of confusion with the air, and Tzuyu, seated next to her, seemed equally incredulous, though showcasing it in a less theatrical manner.

“She fell on you, and then?” Tzuyu prompted, ignoring Chaeyoung’s increasing dramatics. 

“Honestly, it’s a blur.” Dahyun struggled to recall more details of the incident. She could only remember sparse details: a blunt pain in the back of her head, a sweet floral smell, blood rushing to her cheeks, and Sana’s glossed lips so close to her own. She decided not to express these thoughts to her friends. “We had a little conversation, I stuttered like an idiot, she offered to kiss my head better, and I ran.”

Chaeyoung shook her head, almost in wonder, running a hand through her hair.  “God, the audacity of that girl. Seems like Jihyo wasn’t exaggerating.” Tzuyu nodded sagely. “Hopefully she’ll leave you alone.”

“Yeah,” Dahyun said, staring at the book on the table in front of her and fiddling with the corner of a page. “Well, I mean, I don’t know.”

Chaeyoung rounded her eyes on Dahyun in an instant. “You’re not into her, are you?” she asked.

Dahyun met her eye and then darted to Tzuyu, who had an equal look of tension on her face. “No, no, of course not,” she said quickly.

Chaeyoung still eyed her suspiciously. “Alright… good.” She looked back to her text book, not seeming entirely convinced, but willing to drop the topic for now. “What was the first human civilization again?”

Tzuyu opened her mouth to answer, but Dahyun didn’t hear a word after that. Her head was whirling too quickly, thoughts of wet floor signs and Sana’s perfume and everything else from that moment dancing like leaves on wind in her mind. It was all very strange and confusing and this adjustment was already rough enough without adding promiscuous older girls and friends’ disapproval. But Dahyun really didn’t know.

As she went home that afternoon, having bid farewell to her friends at the school doors and wandering alone down the road to her house, Dahyun found that her mind just couldn’t stray from Sana and her friend group. Jeongyeon and Nayeon, leaned up against a locker in the morning, wrapped up in each other and offering spare words of support. Momo, giggling like a fool at a funny comment thrown across the lunch table, eyes shining with reckless joy. Sana, pressed against her front on the floor of the South hallway, smelling dangerously like sugar and flowers. It was like they were some giant inescapable presence, a blanket spread over everything in Dahyun’s world. And when she got to school the next day, she realized very quickly that things were exactly the same there.

It was one of those things you didn’t notice until it was pointed out to you, and after that, you saw it everywhere. All anyone cared about were those four girls. What they were wearing, what they were saying, what they were doing. Students spoke more about them than any class offered by the school.

_ “I heard Yoo Jeongyeon got a new car over the summer.” _

_ “Yeah, I heard Im Nayeon bought it for her.” _

_ “Hirai Momo told some girl on the cheerleading squad her favorite food is jokbal.” _

_ “Oh gosh, I should write that down.” _

_ “Do you think Nayeon and Jeongyeon would ever have a threesome?” _

_ “Not with you.” _

_ “Have you ever heard Sana sneeze? It’s the cutest thing in the world.” _

Everywhere Dahyun went in the school, the whispers followed. They could be about the most inane to the most graphic things imaginable. It was incredible, the amount of gossip these girls could create by apparently just existing. Dahyun was somewhat amazed, but highly annoyed.

It was so persistent, drilling into her ears at all times. And it didn’t help that a significant amount of the whispers were about Sana. Sure, the school adored them all, but a clear favorite was beginning to emerge. It was difficult enough for Dahyun to sort through her own thoughts without an endless torrent of gossip about the most prominent figure on her mind being poured on top. She, just for an hour at least, wanted to not hear about, entirely forget about, Minatozaki Sana. 

Things finally began to slow down as the final bell rang and the students poured out the school doors, fleeing from hours of boredom and brain wracking but weighed down with hours of homework. Dahyun wasn’t among them. She had spotted a poster on the club pinboard earlier that day and decided to check it out. She desperately needed a distraction from her own brain.

Dahyun spotted the classroom down the hall and approached hesitantly. The amount of noise from inside was unexpected; she hadn’t thought this club would be that much of a draw for people. Steeling herself, tugging the straps of her backpack closer, she stepped through the door.

Nobody took any notice. Everyone was immersed in their own conversations. Students sat scattered on desks and counters around the room, talking to each other just loud enough to be abrasive. At the head of the room, behind the desk where a teacher would commonly reside, stood Mina, who surveyed the room with a pensive stare. Dahyun, relieved to see a familiar face, made her way up to the front.

“Hey, Mina,” she greeted. Mina turned abruptly, as if drawn from thought, and smiled in recognition. 

“Oh, hello, Dahyun,” she said. “Are you here for Japanese Club?”

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to learn,” Dahyun replied. “I saw the sign up sheet and thought ‘hey, I’ve always wanted to learn’, so here I am.” 

Mina chuckled. “Yes, well, I hope you do get to learn,” she said. “This club can get a bit chaotic, I’m afraid not enough actual Japanese is taught.”

“Yeah, I noticed it seemed a lot more popular than I thought it would be,” Dahyun remarked, glancing about the crowded class. Mina nodded in agreement. 

“Yes, people do seem to enjoy it,” she said, but there was something noticeable in her voice. Dahyun didn’t think she was being entirely genuine.

She asked, “So, are you the leader of this here shindig?”

Mina grimaced slightly. “Co-leader, actually.”

“Dahyunnie!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Leave a comment and tell me what you thought


	3. Chapter 3

Dahyun’s eyes shot open wide and she whipped around to look at the door. Minatozaki Sana herself, looking giddy as a child on their birthday, stood in the entrance, followed closely by her friend Momo, who seemed confused by the sudden enthusiasm. Sirens blared and emergency lights flashed in Dahyun’s mind as they made their way towards the front of the classroom, Sana leading passionately and realization seeming to strike Momo as they got closer. Dahyun could feel her brain going into meltdown. Mina recognized the fear in her face.

“Have you met them?” she asked, worried. 

Dahyun was only able to stutter. “We, uh, I, she-”

“Dahyunnie!” Sana cheered again, reaching the pair and standing in front of the desk. “I’m so happy to see you. What are you doing here?”

“I, uh,” Dahyun turned to Mina, eyes screaming desperately for help.

“She came here to learn Japanese, Sana,” Mina said, subtly trying to bring Dahyun closer and into relative safety. Sana grinned, charmingly unphased.

“I know Japanese.” She leaned forward on her arms, shortening the distance across the desk. “Let me teach you.”

“I don’t think that’s-” Mina tried to refuse but was interrupted. 

“Hi, Mina,” Momo smiled sweetly, sidling up next to her.

“Hello, Momo,” she replied, exasperated and still trying to protect Dahyun as she pled silently for assistance and Sana’s eyes sparkled dangerously.

“Can you help me with something?” Momo asked. “There’s this one phrase I’ve been trying to say and I just can’t get it.”

“Momo, you speak fluent Japanese.”

Momo pouted. “You’re so much better at it though. Come on, I just need a little help.”

“No, I don’t-”

“Please?” she whined, batting her eyelashes.

“Momo, I-” Her resistance was no use. Her resolve faltered slightly and Momo took advantage, grabbing hold of her hands and dragging her away. Mina sent a last apologetic look to Dahyun, who looked like a helpless puppy, abandoned in the den of a wolf. Slowly and timidly, she turned to face Sana. The wolf smirked.

“So, you want to learn Japanese.” It was a question, but Sana didn’t say it like one. Dahyun’s brain cycled rapidly, trying to figure a way out of the situation, calculating how quickly she could maybe distract Sana and sprint out the door, but she couldn’t move. Sana’s gaze had her trapped, and she was rooted in place, blush on her cheeks growing. 

“I mean, I guess, I did, I thought-” Words and half formed sentences gushed out of Dahyun’s mouth and she couldn’t to stop them. Much to her dismay, it only seemed to amuse Sana further.

“You’re cute,” Sana giggled. The bluntness finally shut Dahyun’s mouth for her and her eyes darted around the room, searching for help or maybe just any fully formed thought to express. She met the eyes of nearly every other person in the club, staring blatantly at her and Sana’s interaction.

Dahyun, clearing her throat, finally gained control of her mouth. “Do you need to like, start the club?”

Sana turned around, and seemed to notice for the first time that there were other people in the room. The students all returned to their conversations in a bad show of aloofness. “Oh, no, don’t worry about them. This isn’t really like an ‘official club’.”

Dahyun frowned in confusion. “Then what is it?”

Her question was ignored. Sana leaned in closer, almost conspiratorially, smile never faltering.  “They’re just jealous, you’re taking up all my attention.” Dahyun didn’t know how to let all of the people side-eyeing her bitterly know that they could they could have Sana’s attention, please take it. 

“Listen, Sana, I really just came here to learn Japanese,” _and forget_ _about you,_ Dahyun added in her mind. “If we aren’t going to do that, I should go.”

“No, no,” Sana protested. “I do speak Japanese, I can teach you something.” Dahyun still wanted to leave, opening her mouth to resist, but Sana wasn’t taking no for an answer. She pouted and Dahyun’s mouth closed and somehow she found herself seated on the teacher’s desk, stammering her way through the lines of Japanese Sana gave her.

“ _ Konnichiwa.” _

_ “ _ K-Konnichiwa.”

“Good. That means hello. Now,  _ jaa mata _ .”

“Jaa mata.”

“That’s a more informal way of saying goodbye.” Dahyun nodded, doing her best to focus on the words and not the person saying them. Sana got a little twinkle in her eye and grinned as she said the next phrase.

“ _ Kirei. _ ”

“Kirei.” 

Sana lit up, bringing a hand to her chest and swooning. “Oh, Dahyun, you shouldn’t have.”

Dahyun blinked, thinking for a second she had said the word incorrectly, but Sana’s reaction suggested otherwise. “What does it mean?” Sana giggled coyly, refusing to answer. “Sana, really, what’s it mean?” She just frowned teasingly.

(Dahyun asked Mina later. Mina blushed. Dahyun blushed. She decided to abandon her pursuit of learning another language for the time being.)

Dahyun walked out of the club an hour later, dazed. It had been one of the most harrowing hours of her life. She felt on edge the entire time, Sana’s antics never allowing her a moment of rest. Her body burned, the air outside tempering the heat that built up during an hour of Sana’s eye contact and smiles and touching. Her limbs were thankful for the blood that could now return to places besides her cheeks. 

However, the cool evening air outside was nothing compared to the chilly looks she was getting from the other departing “club members”. They were more like disciples, with the way they flagrantly worshipped the ground Sana and Momo walked on. Through the entire meeting, they vied desperately for any attention they could get, but neither girl was forthcoming. They both appeared quite focused on their chosen targets for the day, making a disappointing afternoon for their loyal followers. But Dahyun was sure they wouldn’t be upset for much longer, if Sana’s reputation really meant anything. 

When Dahyun arrived at the bus station, mind still clouded from the past hour, she was drawn out of the fog by the aggressive vibrating of her phone. When she pulled it out of her pocket, she saw a zoomed-in, unattractive photo of Chaeyoung gracing the screen. Bursting to tell her friend about everything that had just happened, she tapped the accept button and prepared to launch into a rant.

“Hello, Chae-”

_ “Dahyun, apparently that club you were going to is just like a den for Sana and her friends’ flirting BS.” _

Dahyun blinked, disbelieving. “What?”

_ “Yeah, Tzuyu heard it from someone in her Algebra class. They just use it as a cover, the only reason anyone goes to it is to get a shot with them.”  _ Chaeyoung delivered this all with the urgency of a DMV employee renewing your registration. It sounded like she was eating something. Dahyun took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Chaeyoung. I know. I could have used this information ABOUT AN HOUR AGO!”

~~~

Dahyun knew that this should just be a phase in her life. Sana would move on, find someone more willing to put up with her shenanigans, leave Dahyun in peace to finish out high school. But in the following weeks, Sana’s presence virtually never ceased in Dahyun’s life, and it was much more real way now. Everywhere she went in school, down a hall, into a bathroom, out a freaking window, it seemed she couldn’t avoid her. Dahyun didn’t really think Sana was doing it on purpose, but a force up there in the Universe was getting some sick glee out of making Dahyun squeal and duck around a corner every ten minutes. In fact, the only way she managed to lose Sana was to finally get lost herself.

Squinting at the directory and comparing it to the map in her hand, Dahyun concluded that she was in the Technical Education hallway, a hall she had never been down before. The only reason she had even come here in the first place was because she heard a high, tinkling laugh somewhere near the History classrooms and bolted as quickly as she could in the opposite direction. Drastic, perhaps, but it had felt necessary. At least until Dahyun realized she had no idea how to get to the Study Hall she needed to be in right now. 

The halls were cleared of people and the bell had rung seconds ago, leaving Dahyun desperately trying to make sense of the blurry, repeatedly photocopied map she had been given at orientation. She knew she was late and the stress was increasing with every tick of the clock mounted overhead. She was seconds away from just trying every door in the school until she found the right one, when a voice called out from her left.

“Dahyun?”

The girl in question turned and felt relief rush through her body when she saw Jihyo pacing down the hall towards her.

“Oh, thank God, I need your help. I have to get to Room 307 but I can’t read the map and some of the rooms are labeled in letters and not numbers and how does that make any sense and who designed this school, did they know high school students were the ones who had to figure it out?” Jihyo’s eyes widened and she held out stabilizing hands, trying to get Dahyun to calm down.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, breathe.” She nodded as Dahyun gulped breaths of air. “You’re going to be fine.”

“No, I’m already late and I should know my way around by now, it’s been like a week and-”

“Dahyun!” Jihyo interrupted. She smiled soothingly. “It’s going to be okay. I can take you to Room 307 and if I come with you, I can tell the teacher you were helping me with something for Student Council. You won’t even get a tardy.”

Dahyun quieted, staring at Jihyo like the goddess she was. “You’re my savior.”

“Don’t mention it.” Jihyo led the way down the hall. “We just have to stop at the gym, I need to talk to Coach Kim about a Booster Club meeting this weekend.”

“Whatever you need, O Wise One,” Dahyun fawned. “You’re really saving my butt here.”

They reached the gym and Jihyo, with as much confidence as she did everything, pushed open the door. Dahyun trailed behind, casting a passive look around the room. Students had already changed into their uniforms and taken advantage of the teacher’s utter indifference, either playing overly-passionate games of basketball or lounging on the floor and talking to their friends. Jihyo strode across the gym, making a beeline for the teacher on her phone in the back corner, and Dahyun loitered near the doors. She idled her gaze around, vaguely following one game and moving along, until something caught her eye.

To her right, halfway down the length of the gym, playing an intense game of one on one, Jeongyeon and Momo bounced back and forth in an fierce dance of dribbling and deflection. Dahyun was moderately impressed for a moment, aware of Jeongyeon’s athletic acclaim, until a sudden thought occurred to her, and she flicked her eyes to the wall. Nayeon and Sana sat against the cinderblock, cheering their friends on emphatically. Dahyun paled and had begun the most subtle panic attack one could have when a voice rose above the din.

“Sana, isn’t that that girl you were talking to during the club meeting last week?”

Momo paused her play, having noticed the person hovering near the entryway. Dahyun froze in her freaking out as the other three girls turned their heads and they made eye contact. 

“Dahyun!” Sana shouted. Dahyun cringed. Hearing her name in that voice was starting to elicit the same reaction as hearing a gun cock. 

Nayeon turned to Momo. “Is this the same girl she fell on?” Momo nodded, and Nayeon looked at Dahyun appraisingly, as if sizing her up. Dahyun blushed under the scrutiny and waved awkwardly. 

Sana stood up. “Momo, pass me the ball.”

Jeongyeon squinted at her, confused. “Since when do you participate in physical activity?”

“Shush, Jeong,” Sana chided. Momo rolled her eyes and passed the ball, amused to see where this was going. 

Sana made an attempt at dribbling that gave everyone in the gym second hand embarrassment. She used both of her hands and couldn’t really walk at the same time. Jeongyeon played at challenging her, reaching out to knock the ball from her hands, but she just picked it up and held it close to her body.

“Sana, I don’t think that’s how you play,” Nayeon called from her place on the floor, observing the trainwreck. Sana squealed as Momo came closer, hardly even on offense, just openly walking towards her. She turned to shield herself, the ball clutched in her arms like it was her own child, and cowered slightly. Dahyun smiled in spite of herself.

Nayeon eyed her once more. “Looks like your girl is enjoying the show, despite your inability to play properly. Or at all.”

Flushed with sudden pride, Sana tried to shoot a basket. By some wild chance, through no skill of Sana’s own, the ball swished through the net. She spun to see Dahyun’s reaction and glowed with victory to see the smile on the girl’s face. They locked eyes. Dahyun’s grin grew bashful at the intensity and Sana beamed like the sun. Until a basketball bashed into the back of her head and she fell to the ground.

“Oh my gosh!” Dahyun rushed over, reasonable thought having vacated her mind. She kneeled over Sana’s disoriented form on the ground. “Are you okay?”

Sana looked up in daze, her vision swimming back and forth. Dahyun was suddenly struck with how beautiful Sana was. She had known, obviously, it was hard to miss, but it really hit her in that moment. The awful fluorescent lighting of the gym might as well have been heavens glow from the way it gleamed in her cheeks, bounced off of her hair, shone in her eyes. That was another thing Dahyun had noticed. Sana’s eyes were always sparkling. Whether it be in mischief or levity or beguilement, they were like two perfect stars, fallen from the sky to fix Dahyun with the most awe inspiring stare imaginable. Just as they did right then.

“I think,” Sana mumbled, “I’ll be okay if you kiss me.”

Dahyun’s mouth dropped open, at a loss for words, and Sana smirked woozily.

“Jesus, Sana, Momo just hit you with a basketball, can you stop for like two seconds?” Jeongyeon said, incredulous.

Momo whined. “It was an accident!”

They came over to help Sana up and Dahyun backed off, suddenly feeling very out of place. She didn’t know these girls, she didn’t like these girls. Right?

“Dahyun!”

She spun to see Jihyo, finished with her business and waiting, a vexed look on her face. Dahyun scurried away, giving a mumbled farewell, and met her at the doors, ready to leave as quickly as possible. Jihyo looked skeptically at the group of girls Dahyun had left behind, all now clustered around Sana’s splayed out figure on the floor, and then turned it on Dahyun herself. She averted her eyes, hoping no obvious blush colored her cheeks, and pushed her way through the double doors. 

“I told you those girls were trouble,” Jihyo admonished as they walked down the hall. “I mean, that was so blatant, it’s shameful.” Dahyun nodded fervently, still not meeting Jihyo’s eyes, wanting more than anything to move past the last five minutes of her life. 

“Hey.” Jihyo stopped, making Dahyun turn to look at her. “You know I’m telling you because I care right? I don’t want you getting your heart broken. You don’t deserve that and you have enough happening in your life besides.” Jihyo’s gaze was warm, caring. She had only the best of intentions. Dahyun nodded, seriously this time. She was honestly very thankful for the amount of care and thought Jihyo was giving her. Jihyo smiled brightly and Dahyun returned it without pause.

In that moment, walking down the empty hall at Jihyo’s side, Dahyun resolved to forget about Minatozaki Sana. She would just ignore the girl’s presence, keep going in school, let Sana move along. It would be the best for everyone involved. 

Some force up in the Universe heard this declaration and started howling with laughter.

~~~

The school library hummed. Overhead lights flickered, books opened and closed, whispers pervaded. Dahyun ignored all of these distractions and hunched over her Algebra homework. The worksheet was something about complex fractions, as if normal fractions weren’t complex enough, and she was struggling. It was due the next day and she wasn’t halfway to understanding it, let alone completing it.

Dahyun was by herself that afternoon. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had to go home right after school that day, citing their own school work and strict parents, and Dahyun let them go, understanding but disappointed. They hadn’t been hanging out as much since school had started up again and it was getting a little disheartening. But nevermind that, focus on Algebra.

Even trying her best to block out her surroundings, Dahyun noticed the sudden uptick in whispers. She bent closer to her paper, trying to tune it out, but she couldn’t tune out someone pulling out the chair next to her and sitting down. She glanced up, ready to be upset internally but say nothing in reality, maybe give a disapproving glare if they weren’t looking, only to duck back down again instantly at the sight of two twinkling eyes.

“Hi, Dahyunnie,” Sana said, as bright as ever. 

Dahyun remembered her promise, internally cursing the fact that it was already going down the drain. She coughed, eyes trained on her paper. “Hello, Sana.” 

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Doing homework?”

“Yep.”

Dahyun kept her answers clipped and her eyes down, putting up the strongest front she had. Sana persisted nonetheless. She took out a textbook and a pen, acting casual, but Dahyun was so hyper-aware of her presence. She could feel the older girl’s gaze burning the side of her face and fought to ignore it, but finally was overwhelmed. She turned, opening her mouth without even a fully formed plan of what to say, but was stopped before she got a word out.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like a tofu?”

Dahyun blinked. “What?”

“You look like a tofu,” Sana giggled. She reached out, pinching Dahyun’s cheeks.

Dahyun was stunned. She didn’t even know how to react to that. The spots where Sana had squeezed her face seared. 

“Oh, um, okay?” Dahyun faltered. Sana’s smile shined like the sun, and Dahyun found herself staring, mouth half open, for a bit longer than can be considered normal. Sana raised her eyebrows and Dahyun shook out of it, mortified.

“Right, well, thank you, then,” she stammered hurriedly. Dahyun looked back at her math, her already feeble focus ruined completely. Her head was buzzing and her cheeks, unrecovered yet from Sana’s touch, felt uncomfortably warm. 

“Dahyun?” Sana asked. 

She refused to look up again. “Yes?” 

“Can I borrow a piece of paper?” Sana requested sweetly.

Dahyun paused and nodded shortly, leaning over to her backpack to search for one. Eyes averted, she slid it over to Sana and returned to her work, scratching down numbers almost at random in a attempt to look occupied. Somewhere next to her she heard the click of a pen and something being scribbled down. Forcefully she pushed those sounds from her mind and focused solely on the next problem. It worked for maybe three minutes, until, once again unable to bear the tension any longer, she looked up.

Sana was gone, leaving behind only the sweet scent of her perfume and the piece of lined paper Dahyun had given to her, folded in half. Dahyun sighed in relief, thinking maybe now her head could be clear and she could pass her Algebra class. She eyed the paper left on the table, vowing she would just leave it, but almost instantly her curiosity got the better of her. She grabbed it swiftly, as if afraid someone would see her, and opened it tentatively. 

A message was written in cute, feminine handwriting. 

_ I meant it as a compliment, Dubu. Call me if you’re ever feeling more talkative. _

Below was a phone number and a kiss mark in pink lip gloss. Dahyun was left once again dumbfounded, unable to form a coherent thought. Something warm simmered in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t decide if it was uncomfortable or not.

~~~

Dahyun shakily told herself that her resolution still stood. She had crumpled the paper Sana had left behind, planned to toss it in the trash on her way out of the library, realized her first wasn’t opening to let it fall into the recycling bin, smoothed it out, and tucked it into her binder. But in the very back. Because she was never going to use it. It would just be rude to throw it away. Why waste a piece of paper? 

Her excuses were feeble, and she pointedly ignored that. She searched for distractions anywhere she could find them. Thankfully, and tragically, her teachers were being very forthcoming in that respect. She was swamped with work almost constantly. This was very good for forgetting about Sana, but very bad in literally every other sense. It was stressful and tiring and very quickly she needed a distraction from her distraction.

On Sunday, she finally had a break. The perfect opportunity for preoccupation came in the form of an invite from Tzuyu and Chaeyoung to go to the mall. Dahyun accepted instantly, excited at the prospect of being with her friends outside of school for the first time in almost two weeks. 

High school had really begun to take a toll on the girls and their friendship. It felt like there was never time for anything anymore. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung had experienced the same increase in work that Dahyun did, though they didn’t have the added pressure of Sana’s advances. The world seemed to be splitting them up, and Dahyun was fighting tooth and nail against that. Walking down the main promenade with them, shopping bags in hand and faces bright, she knew it was worth it.

Stopping at a display outside of an art store, Dahyun’s heart glowed with happiness at the sight of Chaeyoung fawning over too-expensive paints and Tzuyu consoling her with a supportive hand on the shoulder. It felt like they were a team again. They’d become friends in middle school, when the pressures of PE class forced them into repeated group activities together. Dahyun’s eccentrism with Chaeyoung’s snark and Tzuyu’s sharp albeit sporadic wittism blended together in a beautiful perfect mess. They’d been inseparable ever since, and Dahyun refused to let high school change that. 

“I missed you guys,” Dahyun said, never one to keep her thoughts private. They turned to her, sharing a look and returning her smile. 

“We missed you too, Dahyun,” Tzuyu said. “It’s sucked not being able to hang out as much.”

“It’s just high school, man,” Chaeyoung groaned. “I swear to God if I get one more project I’m going to snap. We’re like two weeks in. Like, chill a little bit.”

The trio continued their walk through the mall. They arrived at the bustling food court and Chaeyoung stopped them, claiming imminent starvation. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung went off to buy the food while Dahyun got a table. They returned minutes later, laden with trays and news.

“Ugh, you aren’t going to believe who we just saw,” Chaeyoung lamented. Tzuyu, though silent and sipping her drink, seemed equally exasperated.

Dahyun reached across the table to get her food, looking between the two questioningly. “Who?”

Chaeyoung, playing up the dramatics, seemed too irritated to answer. “Those girls Jihyo told us about,” Tzuyu supplied, causing a sudden spike in anxiety she didn’t expect.

Dahyun’s eyes widened. “Where?” 

Tzuyu shrugged. “Over by the fountain.” 

She followed where Tzuyu indicated, whipping her head around to spot the notorious foursome seated half way across the room. Jeongyeon and Nayeon were, as always, wrapped up in each other and Sana and Momo sat across from them, drinking milkshakes and talking casually. Despite the distance, Dahyun ducked, praying for not the first time in the past two weeks that she could become invisible.

Chaeyoung, oblivious to Dahyun’s violent reception of the news, picked at her french fries. “Have you noticed they’re everywhere? Like you wouldn’t think four girls would be able to exist in every room at school simultaneously, and yet.”

Still recovering from her small panic attack, Dahyun chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, uh, you know, Sana sat down next to me in the library on Thursday. She, uh,” Dahyun tried to be casual, anticipating Chaeyoung’s reaction, “gave me her phone number.”

“WHAT?” 

Dahyun shushed her quickly, lest Sana herself hear and see them. Chaeyoung fumed. “She still hasn’t left you alone?” Dahyun, though still trying to pacify the situation, shook her head. “God, the absolute nerve! I mean she has to have noticed by now that you aren’t into it.”

Dahyun opened her mouth, unsure of what to say, but Chaeyoung wasn’t done. “Why is she so desperate to get in your pants, you’re just trying to live your life. I’m telling you, Jihyo was right, she’s the most dangerous of all of them. She’s like a damn snake. I can’t believe there are people who actually want to date her. Why do they even like her?”

“I don’t know, I mean, she’s pretty,” Dahyun said before she could stop herself. It was clearly the wrong thing to say.

“Well, Tzuyu’s pretty, and you don’t see her harassing people.” Tzuyu blinked at the mention of her name, blushing slightly, but Chaeyoung didn’t seem to notice, on a new leg of her tirade. “But why do you think she’s pretty?”

“Because she is, Chaeng, what do you want from me,” Dahyun said, flustered. Their volume was still louder than she wanted it to be and she was unbearably aware of Sana’s presence across the room.

“You better not fall for it,” Chaeyoung grumbled.

“Chaeng, don’t be ridiculous,” Tzuyu interjected. “She’s not going to fall for it.”

“Yeah, come on,” Dahyun said, indignant, working past the heat in her cheeks. “Listen she’s pretty and all, but I have a brain, okay? I swear, everyone keeps warning me away from her like I’m a five year old who wants to play in a fire pit. I’m not asking for this! And even if I was, I can handle myself.”

Chaeyoung seemed ready to contest that, but Tzuyu sent her a look and she shut her mouth. She took a deep breath and relented. “Okay, yes, you’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just worried, alright? You’re like my best friend. I don’t want you to have to deal with this.”

Dahyun heard Jihyo’s words echoed, coming from the mouth of her friend. “Listen, Chaeng, I appreciate it, but you don’t have to be worried.”

Tzuyu added in, “I don’t think Sana’s serious, she’ll get bored soon enough.” Dahyun nodded her agreement and Chaeyoung, though reluctant, seemed to accept it.

“Alright, yes, fine. Let’s just move on. I’m sure you’ve had to deal with this enough without us talking about it too.” They made their way through their meals, easing into talking then joking then laughing. It was exactly the elation Dahyun had been missing. Nothing was going to ruin it, not high school or homework, not Minatozaki Sana. 

They finished eating and threw away their trash, Chaeyoung happily telling them about some new arcade in the mall they had to visit. They started heading in that direction, Dahyun and Chaeyoung already betting on who would win the most tickets and Tzuyu looking on with amusement. Dahyun still ducked as they walked past the fountain, avoiding a certain pair of eyes, but spirits stayed high. Tzuyu ended up winning the most tickets, much to the chagrin of the other two. Despite that, it ended up being one of the best afternoons Dahyun had had in awhile. She felt nothing but warmth. Not the blistering heat she had so frequently been feeling lately, but the soft glow of friendship and happy memories and a full heart. It was so comfortable and satisfying, she felt at peace. Homework and projects, conflicting thoughts and bothersome feelings didn’t have to exist. It could just be her and her friends at the mall, shooting with plastic guns and laughing the night away.

~~~

On Friday, the entire school was dismissed for an assembly. The halls filled with students shuffling towards the auditorium, the sound of hundreds of feet and voices overlapping in a busy and discordant chorus. Sana and Jeongyeon left their shared Calculus class and met up with the other two at Nayeon’s open locker. Sana was greeted by grins and Jeongyeon was greeted by her girlfriend pulling her in by the tie, forehead to forehead. Jeongyeon groaned at the affection, but didn’t move away. 

“We are in public,” Momo pointed out, deadpan. Sana didn’t say anything but she silently agreed.

Jeongyeon pulled away, straightening her tie and wrapping her other arm around Nayeon’s shoulders. “Not for long. Whose house are we going to?”

“My parents are out for the day,” Nayeon said. “We can use the pool.” She wiggled her eyebrows at her girlfriend. 

Jeongyeon grinned. “Sounds perfect, babe.” Sana huffed.

“Actually, I’m going to stay,” Momo said. That was a surprise. They hadn’t attended an assembly since freshman year. The other three rounded on her, looks of shock on their face.

“There’s a cheerleader I’m scoping out,” she offered casually as an explanation. 

“I didn’t realize there was one you hadn’t gotten with yet,” Nayeon remarked teasingly. Momo swatted her shoulder.

“Alright, fine, ditch us for a girl,” Jeongyeon said, rolling her eyes. “ Sana, you want to stop at your place to get a swimsuit or something?”

Sana bit her lip. The last thing she wanted to do right now was spend hours alone with Nayeon and Jeongyeon and their new-couple mooning. It was the last thing she wanted to do at any time really. If she went to the assembly, she could escape that torture and maybe even help Momo with her new mark. Her decision was practically made for her.

“I think I’m going to stay, too.” That earned some really shocked reactions. Nayeon’s eyebrows nearly reached her hairline. 

“Why would you stay?” she asked. Sana shrugged, looking down to pick at her nails. As true as it was, she wasn’t going to tell the couple how uncomfortable they made her.

“Do you also have yourself a girl, Minatozaki?” Jeongyeon asked slyly. “I’ve never seen you be shy about it.” Sana didn’t offer a response. “Well, alright then.” Jeongyeon reached over and shut the locker. “You losers enjoy learning about bullying or recycling or whatever.”

The couple strutted off, hand in hand. Sana rolled her eyes, turning to Momo, who was scanning the hallway for something.

“Looking for your cheerleader?” Sana asked. Momo jolted out of her focus.

“What?”

“You know, the cheerleader you said you were…”

Momo shook her head dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, right. Listen, I have to go, I’ll meet you later.”

“Okay?” said Sana, confused. “Do you want to-”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.” Momo left abruptly and joined the stream of people heading towards the assembly. Well, that threw Sana’s plan out the window. She walked alone to the auditorium, pondering Momo’s actions. She just left, hardly even listened to what Sana was saying. It was strange, and she didn’t like the way it felt. 

Sana entered the auditorium and realized she had no one to sit with. Everyone sat in clusters around the hall, filling the rows of seats in front of the stage with a riot of noise. She was at a bit of a loss. She didn’t really know how assemblies worked and the feeling of solitude, of being without fellows, was largely unfamiliar. Scanning the room and trying to decide what to do, Sana spotted another solitary figure, seated alone in the sea of groups. Recognition dawned on her, and feeling slightly comforted, she made her way towards the person.

“Hello, Dahyun,” Sana greeted with a smile, coming up next to her.

“Hello,” Dahyun replied apprehensively.

“Mind if I sit here?” Dahyun seemed a little surprised at the asking of permission, but nonetheless allowed Sana to sit. 

“Where are your, uh, your friends?” Dahyun was wary, staring forward and not making eye contact. Sana sighed.

“Momo left me to chase after some girl and Nayeon and Jeongyeon are probably on their way to having sex in Nayeon’s pool.” Dahyun was flustered at the bluntness, blush on her cheeks breaking through her stoicism. “But I could ask you the same question. Where are those other two you’re always with?”

Dahyun side-eyed her. Apparently the question was heavier than Sana had intended. “They, uh, decided to skip. I don’t know when we started doing that, but I guess we do now. Well, they do. As you can see, I wasn’t able to ignore my conscience. She’s a bit intense, loud, doesn’t understand personal space very well. Funny, it almost reminds me of someone.”

Sana chuckled, and a bit of the tension melted. This joking, it was a side of Dahyun she hadn’t seen before. She liked it. “You love it. And you’re lucky,” she leant her head on Dahyun’s shoulder, looking up at her, “You have me all to yourself.” Dahyun stiffened, Sana’s weight and gaze burning up her neck. But Sana glanced away, scanning the crowd, and she started to relax, letting it happen, taking deep breaths. Dahyun turned her own eyes on the nearly full auditorium, and caught sight of something up near the stage. 

“Isn’t that Momo over there, standing next to Mina?” Sana looked where Dahyun indicated and saw that it was in fact. Momo and Mina stood in front with some of the Student Council kids, Mina with a light blush gracing her cheeks and a shy smile on her lips, Momo with a heavy smirk and cocky posture, leaning against the stage. Sana felt something red and unfamiliar burn through her at the sight, a hot ball of lead dropping down her throat into her stomach, and she tightened her grip on Dahyun unconsciously. “You okay?”

Sana nodded absently, unable to take her eyes away from the pair. The air around her felt like it was buzzing, getting more violent as Mina lightly hit Momo’s shoulder, only egging her on further, to get closer, to lean in.

A teacher appeared on stage with a microphone, calling everyone’s attention, the assembly was about to start. The group at the base of the stage dispersed and Sana was called back to reality, Dahyun nudging her shoulder awkwardly. The teacher continued her spiel, introducing the topic of the assembly, but Sana didn’t hear, anchoring herself on Dahyun’s face of concern. “Sana?”

“Y-yes?” She stuttered. Dahyun’s worry grew.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Sana paused for a pregnant moment, before pasting a smile on her face that didn’t reach her eyes. “Yep, totally.”

Dahyun didn’t look entirely convinced, opened her mouth to say more, but Sana turned away, focusing now on Jihyo who had taken the mic and begun the presentation. 

“We all know high school can get very stressful, with the grades and college, but also with the new societal pressure. So today we’re going to talk about coping with new environments, relationships, and changing friendships.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Bit of a longer chap this time, took a lil more time to write. I speak zero (0) japanese so if that was inaccurate, I apologize, the internet mislead me. To say “kirei” is to essentially to call someone pretty (so i was told). The tension is rising hmm? This was a bit more Dahyun heavy, but next chapter should focus more on Sana. Please leave a comment, tell me what you thought, it honestly makes my life. Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof okay so heres the update. couple things, first of all, i changed the rating bc i finally decided to bite the bullet and use cursing. it was getting too artistically straining to keep in pg. second, sorry this took so long, i had some major writers block and couldn't find any motivation. I wouldn't say i'm totally happy with this chapter but, thirdly, I am about to be without internet for two weeks and wanted to get this update up for y'all. So please enjoy.

Coming back to school after the weekend, Dahyun noticed something strange. Nothing seemed to have changed at all. And that was precisely the strange thing.

It had all been made perfectly clear. Sana’s reputation might as well have been painted on the lockers. She flirted, didn’t care about your feelings, made you fall in love with her, and then moved on, your heart mangled and clutched in her brightly painted fingers. But for some reason, in spite of everything Dahyun had been told, going against every warning, every whisper, Sana hadn’t moved on yet.

When Dahyun went to her locker in the morning to get her books, Sana was standing across the hall with her friends at Jeongyeon’s. She cast them a quick glance, not trying to draw attention, but Sana caught her eye and waved cheerfully. Dahyun returned the wave, a little unsure, and Sana smiled, eyes still sparkling and definitely directed at Dahyun. 

Walking to Algebra after lunch, down that same infamous hallway of their first meeting, Dahyun found herself walking just in front of Sana. She kept quiet, thinking the girl maybe hadn’t noticed, only to nearly jump out her skin when Sana leaned in and whispered something in her ear. 

“Try not to slip again.” Dahyun’s eyes flicked to the wet floor sign Sana nodded at. When she tried to look back, Sana had gone, leaving Dahyun with a racing heart that she told herself came from the scare and not the way Sana’s lips might have brushed the shell of her ear.

It made no sense why Sana had deviated from her well documented pattern. Dahyun puzzled over it with every smile, every giggle, every little comment. What made this different from the rest? 

Maybe the problem was that a vital step had been missed. Because Dahyun hadn’t fallen in love with her. No siree, she most certainly had not. Maybe Sana was just refusing to give up, waiting until Dahyun gave in and caught feelings for her before she left her in the dust. Well then, Sana was going to be very disappointed, because Dahyun was not going to fall for her. Absolutely not. Nope. But like, something had to change, right?

Dahyun decided that she was tired of being flustered and anxious all of the time. It was stressful and putting a lot of pressure on the veins in her cheeks. She declared she was going to take some initiative in this whole affair. If she was going to have to deal with this until Sana’s attention span lapsed, she might as well get something out of it.

When Sana smiled at her in the hall, she returned with crossed eyes and finger guns. When she found herself behind Sana in the lunch line, she made her own jokes about the mysterious putrid yellow sludge they called “soup” before Sana had the chance. There was a shift. Much to Sana’s delight.

Dahyun still got flustered. Pretty often. This newfound amiability only fueled Sana’s advances, but it was less uncomfortable than before. It was a… new feeling. One that she couldn’t quite classify or decide her opinion on.

 

Dahyun found herself with an unexpected shadow on her daily afterschool walk to the bus stop. She looked up to the overcast sky and took a deep breath. She was determined. Instead of cringing, she straightened her shoulders, bucking up her confidence. 

“You know, at school is one thing, but if you start following me in public, I’m going to have to call the police,” she called out. From behind, she heard a high giggle and then there was a shoulder brushing her own and the smell of cigarettes and car exhaust was replaced by sweet perfume. 

“It’s not following, it’s accompanying,” Sana insisted.

“Oh, is that so?” Dahyun asked. “Well, to what do I owe the pleasure of your accompaniment?”

“My car’s in the shop, I have to get home somehow.” From the way Sana was grinning, she didn’t seem the least bit upset that she didn’t have her car. “So I can accompany you all the way to the bus stop.”

“Oh, I’m thrilled.”

“You should be.”

They walked in comfortable silence for a little while, which was strange in and of itself. Since when was Dahyun this comfortable around her? She could feel the fluster coming on and silenced it forcefully.  _ No, that’s over.  _ They arrived at the bus shelter and came to a stop. 

Dahyun glanced about, searching for something to break the silence. “So, what part of the city do you live in?”

Sana smirked, and it became clear that attempting conversation had been a bad decision. “Well, wouldn’t you like to know? Want to come back to my place, Dahyunnie?”

Dahyun cleared her throat, refusing to blush. “No,” she stated. “I was going to help you figure out what bus to take.” She nodded her head towards the route map posted on the side of the shelter.

Sana cast a brief glance at the map, but didn’t seem very concerned with it. At least, not more concerned than she was with making her company flustered. “Well, that’s very thoughtful of you, but I have ridden public transportation before.”

“Well, I, uh, didn’t know that.” Dahyun was one more interaction with Sana from taking a vow of silence, but she just seemed to get more and more amused.

“Cute,” Sana cooed. Fighting off the blush was getting increasingly difficult. “I just take the number 4 uptown until 12th. You?”

“The number 4 uptown until 8th.” Sana squealed in delight. Dahyun side eyed her, acting skeptical. “Are you sure you’re not stalking me?”

“Please, if I was stalking you I’d be doing a much better job of it. I’d get the van, binoculars, the whole nine yards. You’d never even know.” Dahyun let out a snort in spite of herself.

Clouds were beginning to darken as the bus pulled up to the curb. Dahyun made a show of letting Sana get on first. Maybe it was because she didn’t fully trust Sana with her back turned but it came off chivalrous anyway. It wasn’t too crowded and Sana pulled Dahyun into the seat next to her. 

Dahyun, determination unwavering, hazarded another chance at conversation. God knows why, because the last one had gone so spectacularly. “So, you live up here? I thought you had one of those houses in the neighborhoods downtown.”

Sana seemed to brighten at the implication that Dahyun was thinking about her at all. “No, I live in an apartment. Nayeon and Momo live downtown but Jeong and I live in the same building up here.”

“Couldn’t you have gotten a ride from her then?” Dahyun asked. 

Sana faltered, just for a second before regaining her composure. “She’s going to Nayeon’s this afternoon,” she explained. 

“Oh, well, good for them,” Dahyun said lamely.

Sana brushed past the dip in the conversation. “What about your friends, huh? Hard to believe they let you walk alone to the bus, you three are practically glued to each other.” 

Dahyun hummed. “Yeah, they both had projects to work on, I think they hung back in the library.” 

Sana’s interest seemed piqued. “Tell me about them.”

“What?”

Sana shrugged. “I feel like you know so much about my friends, I want to know more about yours.”

Dahyun blinked like a rebooting computer. “Oh, well, um, we’ve been friends since middle school. Tzuyu, she’s the tall one, she was pretty quiet at first. Still pretty quiet now, to be honest, but super smart and witty when she wants to be. Chaeyoung, the smaller one, she’s really artistic and passionate. It’s a kinda weird dynamic. Lemme tell you, their arguments are catastrophic. Like this one time in 7th grade…”

She found herself talking about her friends for the rest of the bus ride, meandering from story to story as she was reminded of them. Sana didn’t stop her, only interjecting with questions and reactions probably too enthusiastic to be entirely real. She never took her eyes off of Dahyun. 

The bus screeched to a halt. The driver called out, “12th street!”

Dahyun stopped in the middle of her story, something wild about how Chaeyoung dared her to die her hair orange in 8th grade. “Oh, this is your stop.”

“And?” Sana raised her eyebrows in question.

“Normally, people get off the bus at their stop,” Dahyun said. “Are you sure you’ve ridden public transportation before?”

“I’m sure.” The doors hissed closed.  “Finish your story.”

Dahyun paused, blush finally managing to break through. “Yeah, right. So, we’d gotten the dye from a friend and brought it up to my bathroom. Remember, we hadn’t even told our parents we were doing this...”

She went on, and they both departed at Dahyun’s stop. Just as they stepped off the bus, the first heavy drops of rain splattered on the pavement. They darted quickly under the shelter.

“I spent the entire weekend stressing. I confronted them about it on Monday and they told me they had decided to keep a  _ squirrel _ as a  _ pet _ . Here I was, thinking our friendship was falling apart, when really they had just been keeping a woodland creature under Tzuyu’s bed and didn’t want me to find it,” Dahyun finished grandly. 

Sana broke out into giggles. “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. Why didn’t they just tell you what they were doing?”

“I don’t know. I think maybe they didn’t trust me to make rational decisions about it. Which is probably a valid concern, I would have gotten bitten trying to teach it tricks or something,” Dahyun said.

“Why do I feel like that’s definitely something you’d try to do?” Sana asked.

Dahyun shrugged. “It is what it is.” She looked around, apparently just noticing where they were. Rain was dripping through the cracks in the roof of the shelter. “I’m sorry, I feel like I’ve been talking forever,” Dahyun said.

“No need to say sorry,” Sana responded. “I like listening to you talk.”

Dahyun was still apologetic. “But now it’s raining and you have to walk like four blocks.”

The snaky smirk settled into place. “You could invite me to your place.”

Dahyun really should have seen that one coming, but it still managed to make her eyes widen. The casual facade she had steadily maintained collapsed and she stood agawk with nothing to say. 

Sana giggled. “I’m kidding, Dubu. But listening to you stutter is almost as fun as listening to your stories.” 

Dahyun, flabbergasted, responded with the only thing her mind could come up with. “But, still, It’s raining.”

Sana smiled softly. “I’m not going to drown.” She gave a little wave and started to step out from under the shelter. 

“Wait! Just,” Dahyun shrugged off one last bit of better judgement and slung her backpack off of one shoulder, unzipping and rummaging through it.  “Here. Wear this, okay?” It was Sana’s turn to be taken aback. She found herself entirely dumbfounded and uncharacteristically flustered as Dahyun pressed the bright blue rain jacket into her hands. 

“You can just return it to me later.” Thunder boomed overhead, and the downpour started to pick up. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She ducked her head and plunged into the storm. Sana was left standing alone under the bus shelter, processing the raincoat she now held in her hands and the empty space in front of her. Coming to, she poked her head out from the shelter and shouted at Dahyun’s departing silhouette. 

“Thank you, Dahyunnie!”

Dahyun didn’t turn around, knowing any resolve she had built up had been washed away. She cursed her decision to give Sana the jacket, knowing it would only be used against her, and now she had to walk home in the rain. And she had talked that whole bus ride. And Sana had listened. God, what was she thinking? She made it up to her apartment, nearly frozen and dripping onto the carpet, tinged with regret. But thinking about Sana’s parting words, and her eyes sparkling when Dahyun told a funny story, the discomfort seemed to be only skin deep and she felt oddly warm nonetheless. 

~~~

As Sana’s relationship with Dahyun seemed to be growing closer, her other friendships were doing the opposite, and Momo was getting concerned. All of Sana’s texts were stilted, she hadn’t wanted to hang out over the weekend, and she wasn’t being nearly as affectionate as normal. Momo was sure she was freezing her out, but she just didn’t know why. 

Their walk to the cafeteria had been uncomfortably silent. Momo attempted to break the ice. “Is that a new jacket?” she asked. Sana hummed noncommittally, which wasn’t an answer. 

“Why are you wearing a rain jacket indoors?” Nayeon asked. Sana shrugged dismissively, which still wasn’t an answer. Nayeon seemed to lose interest, spotting Jeongyeon up ahead and rushing to her, but Momo was still troubled. 

“Are you doing okay?” Sana didn’t respond. She her focus was further down the hall, and Momo followed her line of sight to where Nayeon now held Jeongyeon in a close albeit forced embraced. “Sana?”

“Yes, Momo?” Sana jerked her head around to face her friend. She had finally given a response, but she seemed pissed, and Momo was looking for answers.

“I just want to know if you’re doing okay,” Momo said placatingly. Sana took a deep breath.

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” she said, but the tension hadn’t left, and it only seemed to increase as they caught up with the other half of the group at the doors to the lunch room. 

Momo continued to press. “You just haven’t seemed yourself lately and I was wondering if I did something or-” Sana stiffened. Momo tried to catch her eye but she averted her gaze around the busy room. Her eyes landed on a table in the right corner, and in desperation to stop the conversation, she made a rash decision.

 

“Then he decided, without the permission of any of the other council members, to divert half the funding of the arts department to the football team,” Jihyo said with heavy exasperation.

“Ugh, what a dick,” said Chaeyoung.

Jihyo nodded. “I have no idea how he got elected president, but the school has been a worse place ever since.” Mina nodded in agreement.

“Jihyo, you should run for president,” Tzuyu said.

“I’ve definitely thought about it,” Jihyo replied. 

Mina rolled her eyes. “She says, as if being student body president isn’t the first step in her intricately designed plan for total world domination.”

“Mina, please,” Jihyo chastised. “It’s the fifth step, I’ve been orchestrating my take over of the world since middle school.” The table broke out in laughter.

Since that fateful first day, the trio of friends had found themselves joined by Jihyo and Mina every lunch. They sat across the table from the younger three and provided them with high school advice and helpful anecdotes. It seemed like the older girls had taken the freshman under their wing, which was fortunate, because their presence was probably the only thing that had kept Dahyun and Chaeyoung from blowing something up in the student microwave by now. 

“But seriously, you’d be a great president,” Dahyun insisted. Jihyo waved it aside in humility. “It’d also be good for college applications.” The freshman class had just received their first “you need to start padding your resume or you will become a lifelong failure at the age of eighteen” lecture, and suffice to say, it was weighing heavily on all of their minds.

“Yeah, colleges love that leadership stuff,” Chaeyoung added.

“I definitely plan to, but I can’t until senior year. However, speaking of leadership,” Jihyo turned on Mina, “how’s Japanese Club?”

Based on the abruptness of the segue and the look on Jihyo’s face, she had been wanting to bring this up for awhile. Mina winced. “What about it?”

“Still doing that?”

“Yep.”

“Interesting.” 

“What’s so interesting about it?” Mina said indignantly.

Jihyo looked away, feigning indifference. “Nothing, I just can’t really see a reason why you would still be doing it. I mean, unless you count M-”

“Jihyo.” Mina gave her a warning glare.

“I’m not saying anything,” Jihyo insisted, with a side eye that said she was certainly saying something.

Mina rolled her eyes. “Listen, it’s not that bad of a club. Dahyun can tell you, she’s kept coming to-” She stopped in her tracks, realizing she probably shouldn’t have said that. The table rounded on Dahyun, who sat like a statue, as if if she didn’t move, they wouldn’t be able to see her or the color blooming in her cheeks. 

“You’re still going to that?” Chaeyoung asked, incredulous. Dahyun nodded weakly. It was true, she had continued to go to the club, but knowing how her friends would react, she decided it was be a good idea to not tell them about it. 

Jihyo seemed bewildered. “Dahyun, why would you possibly keep going to that club?” Chaeyoung and Tzuyu gave her equal looks of confusion.

She didn’t have any clear answer for their questions. Dahyun couldn’t have told herself why she kept going. She was becoming more friendly with Sana, maybe if she spent more time around the older girl she’d get desensitized to her antics. Maybe Sana would even give up on the whole thing if Dahyun stopped playing hard to get. Well, she hadn’t really been playing hard to get in the first place, and based on Sana’s continued flirting, it didn’t seem to be doing anything anyway. Maybe the she wanted to figure out that feeling she got whenever Sana laughed at one of her jokes. Maybe she just wanted to learn Japanese, okay?

Dahyun’s mouth hung open, lost for words. She tried to wade through the mess of her thoughts, searching for a suitable answer, but she was saved from answering by a call from behind. Or maybe she was just doomed further.

“Dahyunnie!”

Every head at the table turned to see Sana striding towards them, followed by an anxious looking Momo and confused Nayeon and Jeongyeon. 

“Mind if we sit here?”

If Dahyun was lost for words before, it was nothing compared to now. Her head was spinning. Without waiting for an answer, Sana sat down next to her. The three friends hovering awkwardly behind her slowly took their own places, Nayeon and Jeongyeon across the table next to Mina and Jihyo and Momo seated on Sana’s other side. The group, though surrounded by the raucous uproar of the cafeteria, was painfully quiet. 

Sana, ignoring the air of tension, leant into Dahyun’s side. “I needed to return your jacket.” Dahyun suddenly noticed her own raincoat wrapped around Sana’s frame, in flagrant violation of the school dress code. That feeling stirred in her stomach again. Everyone else around the table reacted as well, but in very different ways.

Reeling from the shock of the intrusion, Mina met eyes with Momo across the table, only to promptly break the contact and focus steadily on her lunch tray. Momo sent her eyes anywhere but on the people in front of her. Confused as to why they were sitting here with random underclassmen and not in their normal table across the room, Nayeon and Jeongyeon gave the group nearly identical looks of bemusement. Jihyo met their looks with unconcealed disdain. Silent as always, Tzuyu surveyed the scene skeptically. Chaeyoung shot Dahyun a look of pure “what the absolute hell”.

Dahyun gulped.

“Well, uh, thanks, Sana,” she said uneasily. The older girl shrugged the coat off, almost reluctantly, and handed it over. 

“Okay, well,” Jeongyeon spoke up. “You’ve given her the jacket.” She gave Sana a pointed look that said plainly “why are we still here”.

Sana brushed it off. “Maybe I also just want to spend some time with my Dubu.”

The reactions that pet name garnered wouldn’t have been disproportionate to a bomb going off. Jihyo’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline and Chaeyoung looked like she’d just been slapped. Dahyun realized that the only person who’d ever really seen Sana flirt with her on a consistent basis was Mina, during their time in the club together, but when she looked over for her reaction or maybe some support, she could see Mina’s focus was still firmly set on her food. Feeling very exposed, Dahyun tried to ease up the atmosphere. 

“Aw, come on,” she groaned, but Sana persisted. Her ability to ignore the awkwardness would have admirable if it wasn’t causing Dahyun physical pain.

“It’s true, Dubu, you might as well own up to it.” Sana squeezed her cheeks again, like she had in the library. “I think it’s cute.” She leant in and pressed a quick kiss to the point on Dahyun’s face where she had pinched.

It was… soft. Really soft. She was enveloped in the scent of Sana’s perfume and the spot on her cheek seemed to glow. Dahyun froze in place, but Sana didn’t react at all. She did it so casually. And Dahyun guessed that it must be a casual thing for her, that she kissed girls on the cheek all the time and never meant anything by it. But it certainly meant something to Dahyun. And to the other members of the table.

Jihyo coughed, smiling tightly. “Sana, maybe you should give Dahyun some room. It’s kind of crowded here, so why don’t you, you know, back up all the way to your table over there.” She spoke with a passive aggressiveness Dahyun had never seen from her. Her eyes were ready to kill.

Sana turned away from Dahyun for the first time since sitting down. “I’m sorry, is there a problem with us sitting here?” She smiled back, but there was nothing but combativeness in her tone.

“A problem with you, specifically, but I can’t say the others are exactly welcome either,” Chaeyoung said bitterly. Sana met her eye, and with Chaeyoung’s glare, all pretense of subtlety was lost.

“Come on, you guys, it doesn’t matter that much, we have room.” Dahyun tried to defuse, but she only made it worse.

“See, Dahyunnie doesn’t seem to think there’s a problem,” Sana said. “Maybe you should listen to your friend, trust she knows what’s good for her.” The comment was very pointed, and Dahyun flashed back to the last story she had told on the bus. Her anxiety started to increase.

Chaeyoung scoffed. “Oh, I trust ‘Dahyunnie’ just fine. It’s you I don’t trust.”

“Have I done something to offend you, Chaeyoung?” Sana asked. Chaeyoung paused, thrown off with the use of her name. Since when would Minatozaki Sana know her name? Jihyo picked up where she stopped.

“I think you’ve done enough to offend all of us,” she said. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Sana asked, affronted.

Jihyo rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “I don’t know, why don’t you ask Eunha? I mean, if she’s still willing to speak to you after you abandoned her for her best friend. Or Joy, but she might just throw something at you like the last time you tried to talk to her. Oh, but if they don’t want to talk to you, there’s still a line of girls whose hearts you ripped out who would love to explain to you why maybe someone wouldn’t want you intruding on their lunch.”

Sana raised her eyebrows, opening her mouth to say something, but Chaeyoung cut her off.

“And we don’t plan on having Dahyun added to that lineup, so it’s about time you moved along,” she said bluntly. Dahyun cringed, not happy to hear her name pop up again, or really for this conversation to be continuing at all. The escalation was making her nervous.

“Look,” Sana stated defensively, “You can throw things at me that I’ve done in the past, some of which, if I might add, were misunderstandings-”

“Some?” Chaeyoung interrupted.

“Yes, some.” Sana continued without hesitation. “But what makes you think that’s what I’m doing here?”

_ Is that not what you’re doing here? _ Dahyun wondered.

“Is that not what you’re doing here?” Chaeyoung asked scathingly, nearly shouting. The atmosphere of the table was boiling. Six pairs of eyes watched like a boxing match, ready to see who landed the final punch. Sana tried to speak, but Jihyo got in just before her, going for the knockout.

“Because, from where we stand, it looks like you just want to take advantage of Dahyun in the exact same way and leave her broken hearted after you’ve gotten what you want from her. Why would we expect anything else from you?” she asked.

The bell rang.

Suddenly the situation was brought back into stark reality. Sana sat stock-still, like she was either about to lunge across the table or burst into tears. Nayeon and Jeongyeon, wanting to avoid both of those possibilities, quickly stood up and went to help Momo usher her away.

“This has been fun, let’s never do it again,” Nayeon said, addressing Mina and Tzuyu because they were the only ones at the table who would look at her. The four girls walked away quickly, leaving the other five sitting in silence. Chaeyoung and Jihyo were seething and Dahyun was distressed.

“She has the goddamn audacity to-”

“Chaeng, can we just drop it?” Tzuyu said, eyeing Dahyun.

Chaeyoung met her eye, and upon seeing Dahyun’s discomfort, relented. “Yeah, sorry, it got heated.”

They silently got up and cleared the table. Out in the hall, Sana’s friends had pulled her aside.

“Sana, what was that?” Jeongyeon asked.

“That was the same girl from the gym,” Nayeon said. “What’s the big deal with her that you had to start a shouting match?” 

“Guys, maybe you should calm down a bit, I think she might need some room to breathe,” Momo said.

Sana ignored them all. She brushed past them, following the stream of people exiting the cafeteria and leaving her friends standing next to the doors. She wandered, in a dizzy, irritated haze, not in the direction of her next class, not in the direction of anything really. She found herself in the Literature hallway, pulled out of her cloud by the buzz of her phone.

**_Momoring :P_ **

_Meet me in the office_

 

~~~

Sana was still fuming as she pushed open to door to the abandoned office. It was looking slightly less abandoned now, some of the dust having been cleared and the furniture rearranged to make more space. Momo sat on the couch, fiddling with her phone in her lap. She looked up at the screech of the door hinges.

“Hey, Sana, I almost thought you weren’t going to show up.” She stood, making to get closer, but Sana didn’t meet her eye. She sat down on the desk and Momo hovered awkwardly.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to go to class anyway.” Sana was being cold. It was obvious and she knew it, but the feelings she had been suppressing for the past few days were very simmering very close to the surface after that spat at the table. 

Momo seemed to search for something to say after that, but Sana beat her to it. 

“Where are Jeongyeon and Nayeon?”

“I thought I should talk to you alone,” Momo said. 

Sana sniffed. “And what is it that you wanted to talk about?” It was tense, but a different kind of tension from the lunch room. That had been heated and humid. This was stagnant and frigid.

Momo took a deep breath. “Sana, you’ve been off for a couple days and I want to know why. I asked if you were okay earlier and you said you were and, as your friend, I wanted to believe you. But you’ve been cold and serious and nothing like yourself and you aren’t acting okay.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m not being bubbly enough for you,” Sana replied coolly.

“No, Sana, come on, you know that’s not what I meant,” Momo plead. “It’s like today in the cafeteria. You dragged us over there and then picked a fight with them. Not to mention how it seems like you’ve been pissed at Jeong and Nayeon ever since they got together. I’m not mad at you but that doesn’t seem like something an okay person would do. I just want to-”

“You didn’t have to follow me.” Momo stopped in her tracks, surprised at Sana’s response. She had expected some anger, but it just sounded bitter. Sana wouldn’t meet her eye, but she sat curled in on her self on the desk.

“Of course we followed you, you’re our friend,” Momo said. “We weren’t just going to leave you-”

That struck a chord in Sana and suddenly all the fears and anxieties she had been harboring and pushing down since the assembly, simmering so close under the surface after the fight at lunch, burst red hot in her mind. She couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I saw you and Mina at the assembly,” she said, almost too calm.

Momo froze, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

Sana continued. “I didn’t know she was on the cheerleading squad.”

Momo opened her mouth, searching for something to say. Sana still wouldn’t look her in the eye. 

“Because you know, Momo, we asked you what you were doing and you said you were flirting with a cheerleader and, as your friend, I wanted to believe you.” Sana’s eyes started to glisten with tears. It was such a tragic bastardization of their usual glow. Her words were still serious and cold, but she bit at her lip and seemed to be struggling to keep it together. All of the emotions were just welling up in her and she couldn’t stop it.

“Sana, I don’t-”

Sana interrupted her, still staring off into the distance. “I’m not really upset that you lied. I mean, yes, that hurt, a lot.” Momo winced in guilt. “But I’m more upset because I feel like everything is changing. And it makes me really anxious. First it was Nayeon and Jeongyeon and then I see you at the assembly, and I know you lied to me, and you’re with this girl and I just…” She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“This flirting thing, it’s always just been what we do. And it scares me that it might stop being a thing that we do, and it will just be a thing that I do.” Sana’s voice faltered. “How sad would that be?”

Momo crossed over to sit on the desk. She didn’t try to touch Sana, wanted to give her space, but she needed to be closer to her. “Sana, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want to be the only one doing this, okay? It just, it scares me a lot.” Sana said, voice strangled.

Momo’s heart was breaking for her and she just wanted to help, but she hardly understood what was happening. “Mina and I…” she said, “it’s nothing more serious that what we’ve done before. I mean, I’ll mess with her during club and I talked to her at the assembly but it’s just for fun. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to leave you alone. That any of the three of us are ever going to leave you alone.”

Sana started to shake, voice quivering. “I just want you to promise me that things aren’t going to change too much.” Her voice cracked heartbreakingly on the last words. 

“They aren’t going to,” Momo, tears gathering her own eyes now, reached out a comforting hand on Sana’s shoulder. “I promise. It’s still just going to be us four. Doing what we’ve always done. We love you.”

Finally, a tear fell from from Sana’s eye and she turned, wrapping her arms tightly around her friend. Momo took her in, held her close as they both let tears spill in each other’s arms.

It was heart wrenching, but it was cleansing in a way. As they sat in that office, Sana felt like maybe it was going to be okay. It felt like a weight in her chest had been eased slightly. She’d been vulnerable and Momo had been there to help her. She didn’t have to be anxious, she didn’t have to be afraid. They could just keep doing their thing, bring the world to it’s feet. Nothing had to change too much.

~~~

The next day, Dahyun met up with her friends at Tzuyu’s locker. If asked, she would have flat out denied that they were meeting here to avoid the group of juniors that often hung out across from Dahyun’s, but she did have to recognize that it was a benefit.

Tzuyu gave her a sleepy wave. Dahyun reciprocated, too tired to open her eyes entirely. They had both stayed up late last night finishing history projects, which had been gracefully placed on the shoulders of the entire freshman class. Because if they went two days without making a powerpoint presentation, how would they learn anything?

Chaeyoung, however, was full of energy and mid-rant when Dahyun arrived. She nodded in acknowledgement before continuing. “Can you believe her though? What did she even think she was doing?”

Dahyun groaned, sure she knew what Chaeyoung was talking about. “Are we still on this?”

Tzuyu nodded as emphatically as her fatigue would allow. She had clearly been putting up with this for awhile before Dahyun showed up. Dahyun leant against the wall of lockers in exasperation.

Chaeyoung would not be silenced. “Yes, yes we are. Because I’m still mad about it. It was so inappropriate! She was practically rubbing herself all over you.”

“Chaeng, come on, that’s a bit graphic,” Dahyun said.

“It was graphic to witness, Dahyun!” Chaeyoung declared. “Or should I say ‘Dahyunnie’?” Dahyun grumbled. “Do you prefer ‘Dubu’?” Dahyun hit her to stop. “God, it’s so greasy, I just hate hearing her voice. And that perfume she’s always wearing, what, does she bathe in air freshener? How do you put up with it all the time?”

“It’s, well-” Dahyun started, but apparently the question had been rhetorical. 

“She just barges in on our lunch, smelling like a Lush store made human, trying to hook her harpy claws into you. And not to mention her flimsy excuse for coming over. ‘Returning your jacket’? Where’d she even get your jacket?” Chaeyoung asked. Dahyun looked down at the raincoat she was currently wearing. It still smelled like Sana’s perfume. 

“I guess I left it at a club meeting or something.” Dahyun said, not very convincingly. To be fair, she hadn’t planned on lying until the sentence left her mouth. Based on the vitriol Chaeyoung was displaying, it seemed like the best call, but it didn’t sit entirely right. 

Chaeyoung looked for a second like she might comment on the club thing, but seemed to let it rest. “She’s just insufferable,” she stated simply.

“What a big word, good job, Chaeyoung,” Tzuyu said dryly.

Chaeyoung scowled at her. “It’s like she never leaves me alone! I have to hear about her and her friends all the time, it’s killing my brain cells.”

Rolling her eyes, Tzuyu said, “You know, you’re so tired of everyone talking about them but you’re talking about them right now.”

She paused for a second, but then seemed to realize the truth and backed off reluctantly. “Yeah, yeah, point taken. Whatever, rant over.” 

Tzuyu gave an over dramatic sigh of relief. “Finally.” Chaeyoung cracked a smile. 

“I just get passionate about it, I don’t want her hurting Dahyun,” she insisted.

“She doesn’t look like she’s in any danger,” Tzuyu said. “Unless she does look a lot more like tofu than we think and someone tries to eat her.” Dahyun, nearly asleep against the locker at this point, grumbled at the comment.

Chaeyoung smirked. “Oh, I think someone’s trying to eat her regardless.”

“Gross, Chaeng!”

Suddenly the volume of the hallway increased exponentially. People started rushing towards the other end, gathering in a large crowd around someone holding a piece of paper. Students started shouting out.

“Oh my gosh, it’s been too long.”

“What am I going to wear though?”

“Is it worth going if she’s dating someone already?”

Dahyun, pulled out of her blissful sleepy state by the uproar, squinted. “What do you think they’re talking about?” Chaeyoung shrugged, looking on in equal confusion.

“Oh, haven’t you heard yet?” Tzuyu said. They turned to her, shaking their heads. 

“Im Nayeon is throwing a party on Friday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alrighty, hope you liked it. sorry for any mistakes, i proofread this at like midnight. Nayeon's party is happening next chapter, look forward to it. Leave me a comment, tell me what you thought, i'll see y'all when i get my internet connection back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drink responsibly, kids

Dahyun and Tzuyu exited the backseat of the car, thanking Mrs. Son graciously for the ride. Chaeyoung closed the passenger door behind her and waved goodbye to her mom, smiling like the perfect happy freshman on their way to their first high school party. Mrs. Son drove off, full of the fears and doubts traditional of a parent with a teen who wants to go to parties now. Her little baby was all grown up. When the lights of the car had faded into the distance, Chaeyoung let go of the act and allowed the disgruntled frown to settle comfortably back on her face. 

The three girls stared up at the house where they had been dropped off. “House” didn’t do the place any justice. This building was more of a palace. The mansion was gigantic, a modern facade of marble and glass, sleek and powerful. It was intimidating just to stand in front of. However, the feeling of dignity and class was tainted by the overwhelming mishmash of blasting music and shouting teenagers. Pulsing lights and wild silhouettes flashed through the windows. Im Nayeon’s party of the year (at least, until the next one) was in full swing. 

“Why did we come to this again?” Chaeyoung asked with bitter sarcasm.

Tzuyu might have rolled her eyes, but having witnessed even just the outside of the spectacle that was an Im Nayeon party, she didn’t seem so confident in her motivations anymore. With less conviction than intended, she said, “We came because we were personally invited.” 

 

_ The morning of the party reveal, before the action and before any sane person should be at school, Tzuyu was sitting alone in the library, putting the finishing touches on her history assignment. The lights of the library burned into her tired eyes and the background buzzing of the computers was lulling her into a near hypnotic state. This drowsy haze was abruptly interrupted by someone sitting themselves down next to her. Tzuyu looked up blearily to see Nayeon perched on the edge of the table like a queen on her throne.  _

_ “You’re Tzuyu, right?” she asked. _

_ Tzuyu blinked back at her. _

_ “We ate lunch together that one time, remember?” Nayeon said, as if it hadn’t happened yesterday and Tzuyu could ever forget about it. She nodded hesitantly in response and Nayeon beamed. _

_ “Perfect. So I’m throwing a party this Friday and I think you and your friends should come.” She spoke as if she was presenting this great gift, that any person would be lucky to receive. Tzuyu raised her eyebrows. _

_ “Why?” _

_ A bit miffed at the lack of enthusiasm, Nayeon was nevertheless not dissuaded. “I think you all could have a lot of fun. Just think about it. It could be a… special experience.”  _

_ Tzuyu was unnerved by the emphasis she put on “special” but had no time to voice her concerns. Nayeon hopped off the table and walked away without waiting for dissent. _

_ “I’ll see you three there,” she called behind as she sauntered off.  _

_ Tzuyu blinked again, looking between the spot where Nayeon had just been sitting and her retreating form and the history project on the desk. _

_ “What just happened?” _

 

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, not any more pleased to hear about the event for the second time. “And you convinced me to come how?”

“Don’t make me explain it again.”

 

_ Chaeyoung gripped her drink tightly enough to crumple the plastic.  _

_ “Do you think she was flirting with you? Because if she was, I swear to God, I’ll straighten those buck teeth of hers with my fist.”  _

_ Tzuyu was quick to reach out and release her grasp before they had to apologize to the owner of this cafe for an exploded iced coffee. “She has a girlfriend, so I highly doubt it.” _

_ “Oh please, like you can expect any of them to be faithful,” Chaeyoung scoffed. “I’m sure her and Jeongyeon both have something on the side.” _

_ Dahyun fiddled with the straw of her own drink. These conversations kept happening and she was starting to get really tired of them. Some part of her wanted to defend Sana and her friends, but that was probably just because she was getting weary of Chaeyoung’s nonstop rants. I mean, Chaeyoung was right, right?  _

_ “I think we should go,” Tzuyu stated unexpectedly. “And Chaeyoung, I know what you’re going to say-” _

_ “Why, for the love of all that is good and holy on this earth, would we go to that party?” _

_ “Actually, my version had a lot more cursing.” _

_ “Believe me, I am showing enormous amounts of restraint,” Chaeyoung fumed. _

_ “I just need you to hear me out,” Tzuyu insisted. “It’s our first year of high school. We should to experience things.” _

_ “I’m experiencing things just fine, as far from Im Nayeon and her friends as possible, thank you very much.” _

_ “We’re all stressed, we could use a break.” _

_ Chaeyoung rolled her eyes so dramatically they might have fallen out on to the table. “That’ll be a fun break, watching our peers get drunk off their asses and dodging handsy football players. Sounds like an amazing night out.” _

_ Dahyun suddenly spoke up. “I agree with Tzuyu.” _

_ Tzuyu shot her a look of thanks as Chaeyoung groaned, “Not you too! Am I the only sane one at this table?” _

_ “She makes some good points, okay?” Dahyun shrugged. She felt a weird enthusiasm for the idea, one that she couldn’t really explain. “I don’t think we should waste our time in high school. And the parties are supposed to be insane.” Spotting Chaeyoung’s reaction, she corrected, “In a good way. Hundreds of people go to them. We can just… avoid the people we don’t want to be around and have fun together.” _

_ Chaeyoung looked around wildly, like how could she be the only one who sees this is a terrible idea. _

_ “Well fine then,” she relented. “You two can go.” _

_ Tzuyu gave her a look. “Chaeng, come on-” _

_ “No, no, enjoy watching cheerleaders get high off of hand sanitizer or whatever’s hip with the kids these days, I don’t need that in my life.” _

_ Tzuyu reached out and grabbed her hand. “Chaeyoung, just come to the party. We can hang out together.” Her eyes darted to Dahyun. “All three of us can hang out together.” _

_ Dahyun looked between the two of them, confused. Chaeyoung pulled her hand away quickly.  _

_ “It’s a unique opportunity,” Tzuyu continued. “We should take it.” She stared at Chaeyoung imploringly. Finally, her resolve seemed to break. _

_ “Fine. But I’m not enjoying myself. And if I see Nayeon or any of her friends, I’m taking my ‘unique opportunity’ and pushing them into a pool.” _

 

Dahyun looked back on the memory, surprised at her own enthusiasm. She couldn’t be feeling further from enthusiastic in this moment. She shifted from foot to foot, shivering in the autumn evening air.

“It’s cold,” she commented. 

Chaeyoung hummed in sarcastic concern. “Maybe if you had worn that jacket…”

“Shut up, Chaeng.”

 

_ “Are you allowed to wear white to a house party?” _

_ “Of course not, you would be shot on sight.” _

_ Dahyun groaned. “That’s not helpful.” _

_ “Did you expect it to be?” _

_ Dahyun threw her phone onto her bed, along with several outfit options she had been deliberating between for the past hour. Well, maybe deliberating was a gentle way of putting it. More like tearing her hair out over. _

_ She pressed her current option up to her front, looking at it in the mirror. “Is wearing a dress too formal or just formal enough?” _

_ “I don’t know, I could call up my contact in the fashion police but I think she’s on duty tonight.” _

_ Dahyun groaned deeper. _

_ “Listen, Dahyun,” Chaeyoung said through speaker phone, “I know you consider me an expert in all things, as you should, but what makes you think I can help you with this? I’ve been to exactly as zero parties as you have.” _

_ “I don’t know,” Dahyun said, ruffling through her closet. “I’m just stressing, I need to talk it out.” _

_ “If you’re stressing so much, why are we even going?” Chaeyoung asked. _

_ Good question, Dahyun thought, but kept quiet. _

_ “We can just skip it,” Chaeyoung continued. “Let’s see, I can have a group root canal scheduled that might be just as fun.” _

_ “Ha, ha,” Dahyun said sarcastically. _

_ “Or we can just relive our middle school lives for four hours. I can play Kim Yerim and you can spill your soup all over me on picture day. ” _

_ Dahyun cringed. “I couldn’t walk in the hallways for months without her giving me a death glare. It was worse when the yearbook came out.” _

_ “And there are going to be plenty of people just like her at the party. I mean, if Im Nayeon’s running it, I’d be surprised if you could scrape a soul together among the lot.” _

_ Inhaling deeply, Dahyun plopped herself down on the one section of her bed not covered by an article of clothing. “Chaeng, I need you to be serious with me for a second.” _

_ “I can try.” _

_ “What do you think is really going to happen?” _

_ Chaeyoung exhaled, mulling it over. “I really don’t know, Dahyun. It could be really boring, it could be really fun, it could scar us for life. People are probably going to get drunk and rowdy and loud and make bad decisions. It’s gonna be a party, I guess. I mean, we’ll be fine, the three of us. We’ve got each other and all that sappy friendship stuff.” Dahyun chuckled despite her anxiety. “Worst case scenario, we call my mom to come pick us up and we finish the night in my basement watching a horror movie. Best case scenario, Nayeon falls off her own balcony and we finish the night in my basement watching a horror movie.” _

_ Dahyun snorted. “Okay, Chaeng.” The tension, though not entirely gone, had eased a little bit. She could survive this party. “Thank you for your never ending wisdom.” _

_ “Don’t mention it. And just wear something simple, no one will be sober enough to care and you might as well be comfortable when someone spills their drink on you. But put some effort in. If I can’t find you a girlfriend by the end of tonight, I’ll have to resign as your best friend and we all know how much of coveted position that is.” _

_ “Very funny,” Dahyun said. _

_ “No, really, we’re gonna hook you up. There’s that girl Irene you used to like, she’s probably gonna be there.” _

_ “I think she’s in college now, she was my babysitter in like fourth grade.” Dahyun squinted skeptically. “Why the romance all of a sudden?” _

_ “I don’t know, I’m thinking about it. I mean, that’s what a high school party is for, right? Meeting the love of your adolescent life and having that perfect kiss under the stars.” She coughed. “Or whatever.” _

_ “Son Chaeyoung, you poetic loser,” Dahyun smirked. _

_ “No. Shut up.” _

_ “Whatever you say, softy.” _

_ “Leave me alone. And wear that skirt you just bought, it makes your butt look good.” _

_ “Alright,” Dahyun said. “Thanks for helping me calm down.” _

_ “We’ll be okay. I mean, it’s going to suck, but it’ll be fine. If you consider being trapped in a witch’s lair with 400 of your new drunkest friends fine, which I do not, if I might add.” _

_ “Goodbye, Chaeng.” _

_ “Later, loser.” _

 

The three fell silent, looking up at the house that wasn’t getting any less intimidating as they stood in front of it. The mood might have been eased earlier, but confronted with the reality of the situation, their confidence drained away yet again.

Chaeyoung took a deep breath. “Well, my mom drove away and it’s not getting any warmer. Shall we?”

Tzuyu nodded, shaky but determined, and Dahyun tried to her best to do the same. The friends steeled themselves and walked up the path to the front door. As they approached, the volume of the party steadily increased, the base and their heartbeats thrumming in their ears. 

The door was propped open, eliminating the awkward “to knock or not to knock” debate, but they hovered in the doorway regardless. The outside of the house was one thing, but seeing the teeming sea of raging teenagers up close and personal was an entirely different experience. It was clearly a very modern, cleanly decorated place, but the party had taken over. The entire room was packed with kids, drinks in hand, inhibitions absent. They danced wildly, shouting like banshees and throwing their limbs in time with the blaring music, or as in time as they could be when they were clearly wasted beyond rhythm. 

The three freshman gulped in unison.

“What, uh, what should we do now?” Dahyun asked, unable to pull her eyes from the scene. She had to shout to be heard over the uproar.

“I guess, get drinks?” Tzuyu said, as if she was asking herself more than anyone else. The other two nodded nervously, and they made their way tentatively into the fray, hugging the walls and nearly each other in a close huddle.

They fumbled their way through the crowd, dodging flailing bodies and careless drinks, and managed to stumble into the kitchen. It was just as large and grand as the rest of the house, but slightly less populated. Dahyun was able to hear herself think at the very least. 

Lining the kitchen island were stacks of plastic cups and dozens of open bottles. They didn’t look like they held fruit punch. It should have been expected, by the reputation of these parties and high school parties in general, but it was still very jarring. The three friends just looked at the bottles, almost having a staring contest with them.

“You better not even think about drinking that.”

They whipped their heads around to see Jihyo approaching them. That was unexpected.

“Of course we wouldn’t,” Dahyun said quickly. Jihyo raised her eyebrows, half joking, half deathly serious.

“I trust you three, you’re good kids. You never know what could happen at one of these parties though.” She surveyed the crowd with distaste. “God, I hate these things.”

“Why are you here?” Chaeyoung asked, her surprise speaking for all of them.

Jihyo rolled her eyes, as if she was asking herself the same question. “Mina. She seems really stressed these days. She told me I needed to ‘let loose’ and ‘make the most of highschool’. I think she was talking to herself more than anything. I wasn’t going to change her mind, so I decided to come with her. At least if I’m here I can make sure she doesn’t let loose too much.” Jihyo gave them a suspicious glance. “Why are you three here?”

“Same reason, pretty much,” Dahyun said. It was true, but why did she feel like a guilty child lying to their parent?

“Where is Mina?” Tzuyu asked.

“She went to look for a bathroom,” Jihyo said. “God knows there must be like 40 in this house. I should go find her. Make good decisions, kids.” 

Jihyo plunged bravely back into the breach, leaving the three freshman alone in the kitchen once again. Well, as alone as they could be with dozens of other people crammed in the same room. Dahyun eyed the alcohol.

“I’m not feeling that thirsty to be honest,” she said, and her friends nodded in agreement. They shared a look, seeing the only place to go from here, and rejoined the wilderness of the party proper.

Clustered in their little huddle, the three girls made their way deeper into the house, even more impressive on the inside. There was a game room, where far more people danced on the pool tables than played anything, a home theater, where no one took a break from making out with each other to start watching a movie, and a library, where nothing resembling reading was happening between the stacks. Of course, there were multiple living rooms, all decorated with some new, modern style, that seemed to blur together into one twisting, pulsing mass of teen debauchery. Dahyun hadn’t taken a single drink, but the energy of the place was starting to make her dizzy.

Chaeyoung halted them in what looked like a sort of museum display room. A group of boys were armwrestling on the display case of a 2000 year old manuscript.

“Okay, I’m done,” she shouted over the noise.

“Yeah, they’re about to break something they can not afford to replace,” Tzuyu said.

“No, not with them,” Chaeyoung said, but gave the boys a second look. “Well, yes, with them, but also with us!” Her friends looked at her, confused. “You drag me to this stupid party to ‘experience high school’, right? How can we do that if we’re huddled together like a bunch of penguins?”

Dahyun was going to interject but Chaeyoung continued. “No, come on, we look like losers. We have to split up.”

“We’re hanging out together,” Dahyun insisted.

“We can meet up again later,” Chaeyoung returned. “Come on, Tzu, what do you say?”

“I,” Tzuyu looked between the pleading faces of both of her friends. “Yeah, you have a point. We should split up.”

“Tzuyu, really?” Dahyun groaned.

“It’ll be fine, and we’ll see you later,” she said.

“But, guys, come on,” Dahyun started, but they were already being swept away into the party. She found herself alone, standing next to a weird horse statue in the middle of an unfamiliar house, surrounded by drunk idiots. She needed some air. 

Making her way towards the other end of the display room, Dahyun found a staircase and climbed up to the second level. This floor was quieter than below, with fewer people clogging the rooms. She followed a couple of hallways and ended up on a sort of balcony, overlooking the packed entrance hall where she and her friends had originally come in. She wondered where they had gotten to, if they were having the time of their life in that crowd down there while she slumped over the railing up here, trying to fight nausea. She brought her hands up to her forehead, feeling exhausted.

“Hey, freshie, you okay?”

Dahyun turned at the familiar voice and saw Jeongyeon, leaning against the wall next to her. She was dressed for a party, in a brightly patterned button down and shorts, but the ensemble didn’t match her mood. This meeting was eerily similar to their first, except they were both alone this time. It probably wasn’t the smartest move to strike up a conversation with a girl with Jeongyeon’s reputation, but it seemed they both felt a little dejected in that moment.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks,” Dahyun responded. Jeongyeon was holding a cup and seemed a little tipsy, but a lot better than most of the partygoers. 

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Jeongyeon said. “This doesn’t really seem like your scene.”

“Yeah,” Dahyun said. “It isn’t really. But when Im Nayeon herself invites you, you have to come right?”

Jeongyeon chuckled wryly, shaking her head. “Yeah, ever since she stopped flirting with people, she fancies herself quite the matchmaker.”

“What do you mean?” Dahyun asked.

Jeongyeon shrugged it off. “Oh, nothing.” She took a sip from her cup. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“It’s a little…” Dahyun trailed off, looking down at the sea of dancing below, the flashing lights. 

“Yeah, I get that,” Jeongyeon said.

“Are you enjoying it?” Dahyun asked. It was a little weird to her to see Jeongyeon just standing off to the side, when she had expected her to be the life of the party, center of attention.

“Well enough, I guess,” she said, without much enthusiasm. “It’s a little different with a girlfriend.”

Dahyun hummed, surprised by the honesty. “Where is she?”

“Somewhere down there,” Jeongyeon gestured to the party below, “being the perfect hostess. And I’m up here, ducking past flings and drinking alone.” She spoke very contemplatively, like this was all some big self deprecating joke. The alcohol was making her a bit more open to sharing than she might have been sober. 

Dahyun finally allowed herself to ask a question that had been burning through her. “Do you miss it? The flirting?” 

Jeongyeon looked surprised. “Honestly? Not at all. It’s a pretty unsustainable lifestyle. Some people might even say it’s ‘a dick move’.” She laughed and Dahyun found herself joining in. “I don’t need to make any more enemies. And I mean, Nayeon and I bicker all the time and maybe I don’t act like it enough, but I love her a lot. Just, so much.” She gazed off into the party. It might have been her inebriated state, but Jeongyeon talked about Nayeon with stars in her eyes, a bit of a dopey smile on her face. It was a very touching, entirely unexpected moment. 

The moment was cut off abruptly by the arrival of Momo, who, unlike Jeongyeon, was drunk off her ass.

“Jeong,” she whined, wrapping her arms around her friend’s shoulders. It looked like she might have spilled her drink down the front of her dress. “I asked her to come and she said she would but I haven’t seen her and Jeong,” she stretched the name out, “what if she hates me now and I ruined it forever and she never wants to talk to me again.” She clutched tightly to the front of Jeongyeon’s shirt, legs unable to support her.

Jeongyeon pried her grip open. “Whoa there, Momo, you need to slow down. I’m sure she came. There’s like a million people here, maybe you just haven’t run into her yet.”

Momo seemed to consider this and nodded as sagely as her state would allow. “Yeah, yeah,” she mumbled. She turned to Dahyun, seeming to just realize she was there. “Hey, you!” She surged forward, bringing her arms up around Dahyun. “Have you seen,” she slurred, “have you seen Mina?”

Dahyun, awkward with the close contact and the strong scent of alcohol coming off of Momo, fumbled with her words. “Uh, last I heard, she was trying to find a bathroom.”

“Ugh, how’s that supposed to narrow it down?” Momo groaned. “I have to go find her.” With a newfound sense of urgency, she started to stumble back into the crowd. 

Jeongyeon pushed herself off the wall. “I should go make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”

Before she could get very far, Nayeon emerged from the crowd and pushed her against the railing of the balcony, bringing their lips together fervently.

Dahyun stood off to the side, flabbergasted and apparently forgotten entirely as the couple kissed. Just as she started to wonder if she should just leave, Nayeon broke away for air.

“I missed you so much,” she whispered against Jeongyeon’s lips. 

“That’s… kinda gay,” Jeongyeon panted.

Nayeon hit her playfully. “Don’t start with me. It’s absolutely wild tonight. I don’t think there’s a single vase in the house that’s not shattered, there are freshmen making out in the coat closet, and some dumbass on the lacrosse team asked if I was your sugar mommy.”   
Jeongyeon groaned, but it was clear she wasn’t that upset. Her mood actually seemed drastically improved. “I wonder if it’s the same guy who asked if we’d be willing to have a threesome.”

Nayeon giggled at the memory. “Aw, you know Mommy would never share her little girl with anybody-”

Remembering they weren’t alone, Jeongyeon’s eyes darted to Dahyun and she coughed. Nayeon followed and she lit up in recognition. “Hey, you came!”

Stunned, all Dahyun could do was nod. 

“That’s perfect. I hope you’re having fun.” Her eyes cut to the stairs slyly. “You should go check out the pool.” There was a mischievous quality to Nayeon’s voice that Dahyun didn’t trust entirely. But before Dahyun could consider asking for clarification, the couple was making out again and she decided she needed to get away from here regardless. 

Descending the stairs, Dahyun squeezed her way through the crowd, hopefully heading towards the pool. Plunging back into the party, with all of its music and shouting, made her head spin once again. In one of the living rooms, she spotted glass sliding doors that seemed to head outside and she made her way towards them. 

Feet from the door, Jihyo appeared in her path. “Dahyun!” she shouted over the crowd. “Have you seen Mina?”

“No!” Dahyun replied. “But she’s very popular tonight!”

“What?”

“Momo was asking about her earlier!”

Jihyo’s mood changed abruptly from concerned to indignant. 

“What!”

“Yeah,” Dahyun said, sensing the shift and trying to ease back. “Listen, have you seen Chaeyoung or Tzuyu?”

“I’m sorry, no,” Jihyo replied, her mind clearly moving past this conversation. “I have to go.”

“Oka-” Dahyun started, but Jihyo already melted back into the crowd. Even more desperate for air now, she shouldered her way past a couple people and nearly fell through the sliding glass door into the pool area.

Sliding the door shut behind her, the clamor of the party was dulled and she heaved a deep breath, taking in chlorine tinted fresh air. She had emerged in a courtyard of sorts, surrounded by windows that showed the party raging around it and open to the star-dotted sky above. The pool itself was empty, but there were maybe thirty people scattered around the edges, basking in the quiet blue lighting and speaking at a normal volume. It was an enormous relief. She finally felt free of the party, able to breathe again.

Her relief was cut short when she caught sight of Sana.

Dahyun didn’t know if it was her exhaustion, the fumes of the party gone to her head, the absence of a school uniform, or all of the above that made Sana look that much more like a goddess, sitting casually on a deck chair across the patio without a care in the world. She positively glowed. Like she was a higher being, emitting some strong magnetic force, pulling the light and the atmosphere and Dahyun’s eyes all to her and keeping them focused. 

Sana turned her head, meeting Dahyun’s admittedly awestruck gaze, and everything about her lit up even more, which should have been impossible. She waved brightly, beckoning Dahyun over. And how was she supposed to resist that?

“Dubu!” she cried as Dahyun made her way over. “You’re here!”

“Yeah, I am,” Dahyun said, too busy trying to catch her breath to come up with something more creative than that.

“I’m so happy to see you,” Sana beamed. She patted the deckchair she was seated on. “Come, sit.” Dahyun did as she was told and Sana leaned into her, linking their arms.

“Are you enjoying the party?”

“Sana, you look… stunning.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Dahyun nearly choked, blushing furiously. 

Sana giggled, looking down at her body almost bashfully. “Thank you,” she said, and the way she said it made it seem like the compliment meant so much to her, even though she had definitely heard it many times before. “I think you look  _ stunning _ as well.”

“Ah, come on,” Dahyun deflected, heat glowing in her cheeks.

“No, no, I love your outfit. It’s very cute.” Sana couldn’t know about the hours Dahyun spent stressing over what to wear, couldn’t possibly know the deeper effect her words would have, but the sparkle in her eyes could convince you she knew every single detail about you.

“It’s a good thing you’re here, I actually needed to talk to you,” Sana said. She took a deep breath.  “I’m really sorry about what happened at that lunch.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Dahyun insisted instantly. Sana looked like she had been really hurting over it.

“No, it’s not fine. I intruded where I wasn’t welcome and I need to apologize,” she said. She looked off. “Your friends don’t like me very much, do they?”

“No, it’s not, they-” Dahyun cringed, trying to come up with a better response, but she was never very good at lying. “Well, no, they don’t.” 

Sana’s shoulders drooped a little bit. She turned back. “You like me though, right?”

She tried to play it off like a joke but it clearly wasn’t. Dahyun really didn’t expect this many emotional conversations to happen at this party. She looked deep into Sana’s eyes, seeing a flicker of vulnerability she’d do anything to ease.

“Yeah, Sana, of course,” Dahyun said. And she didn’t find herself having to lie. Somewhere in between all of the gratuitous flirting and getting flustered, some fondness had formed between the two of them.

Sana nodded, biting her lip. “Well, I like you too, Dahyunnie,” she giggled, brushing the sadness out of the atmosphere with a flip of her hair. Dahyun let out a breathy laugh, taking in a whiff of Sana’s perfume. It was more intoxicating than any drink at this party.

“This is my first party, you know,” Dahyun said.

Sana raised her eyebrows exaggeratedly. “What? No, I never could’ve guessed.”

“Hey,” Dahyun protested. “I tripped over that door frame like a pro, I’m completely in my element.”

Sana laughed and Dahyun’s stomach felt light. “Well then, either way. I’m happy I could be your first.”

Her eyes danced with double entendre. Dahyun tried to suppress the half cough, half choke that immediately bubbled up, but Sana caught it, just like she did everything.

“Aw, did I make your heart flutter?” she asked innocently.

“Please.” Dahyun’s denial was severely undercut by her inability to keep the blush off of her cheeks. “It was just… a very funny joke.”

Sana grasped her chest in mock swoon. “Wow, it’s not every night a pretty girl calls you stunning  _ and _ funny. Dahyun, slow down, I’m already yours.”

Hearing Sana say her name sent her stomach in a series of flips Dahyun couldn’t explain. “Are you now?” she asked, in far too steady of a voice.

Instead of answering, Sana seemed distracted, flickering her gaze over Dahyun’s face. Dahyun felt like she was under a microscope but she didn’t hate it. It felt like she was being appreciated, not dissected, like Sana was some fine art connoisseur and she was a masterpiece. It was flattering, to say the least, and doing nothing to abate the heat growing on Dahyun’s cheeks.

She could feel her own eyes drawn into Sana’s face. Getting pulled into the depths of her eyes, following the curve of her nose, down to her lips. She looked like an angel. Dahyun felt an irresistible pull forward, like a siren song, calling out to her, to do… something, anything. She looked back up to Sana’s eyes. They were perfect stars.

“I’m sorry,” Dahyun said quickly, breaking the eye contact.

“Why are you apologizing, Dahyun?” Sana asked gently.

Dahyun unentangled their arms, weaving her fingers together in her lap. “I mean, this is your friend’s party, you probably want to go hang out with them, you don’t have to sit here with me-”

“I think I’m perfectly happy right where I am.”

Dahyun persisted. “No, no,” she shifted her body away from Sana, “I’m sorry, I should leave you alone, I don’t know what I’m doing here-”

“Hey,” Sana said, bringing her hand up to Dahyun’s elbow, bringing their eyes back together. She wet her lips and smiled, eyes glowing like a sunrise. “Kiss me if you’re sorry.”

_ Oh.  _ So that’s what she had felt compelled to do. And staring back into Sana’s eyes, falling deep, the compulsion felt stronger than ever. And she didn’t want to fight it. It felt different from the other times Sana had asked for a kiss. It could have been a joke, but the look on her face said she meant it wholeheartedly. And Dahyun wholeheartedly wanted to give in.

She felt herself leaning in and saw Sana do the same. She closed her eyes softly.

“Dahyun?”

She jumped back, opening her eyes to a broken spell. She whipped her head to where the call had come from, only to see Jihyo standing at the door, giving her best “what the absolute hell do you think you’re doing” look. Dahyun looked between Jihyo and Sana, fumbling for words and trying desperately to get her lungs to work again.

Suddenly a cheer went up from the other edge of the pool and all three girls turned. A group of partiers was clustered around two people Dahyun couldn’t make out, shouting and egging them on. Still shaking off the daze she had just been in, she didn’t understand what was happening. Until it became clear, when the two figures lurched forward out of the fray and she saw Mina and Momo tumble into the pool with a splash, locked at the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright well this took forever, but i'm back and i hope you guys enjoyed it. please leave a comment and tell me what you thought, yell at me for not posting in a month, whatever you want.
> 
> btw my kpop tumblr is @imgayforjisoo so hmu there if you'd like


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Yes or Yes day! As a gift, I have finally completed this chapter! So maybe it's been a hot second since I last updated. School started again and classes are kicking my ass, and I also had a major case of writers block, but I finally managed to get this done. I hope it's worth the wait, it is a bit longer than the other chapters. Thank you so much for reading!

_ “Did you hear about what happened on Friday?” _

_ “At Nayeon’s party?” _

Sana put her History textbook back in her locker, grabbing her Chem binder from the top shelf.

_ “Momo made out with some chick by the pool. Hot!” _

_ “Does that mean another one is off the market then?” _

She knelt down to shove the binder in her backpack, then stood up straight and checked her reflection in the mirror inside the locker door.

_ “Only Sana’s left. How long do you think that’s going to last?” _

_ “Oh, she’s mine.” _

_ “In your dreams.” _

She straightened the straps on her shoulders, grip tight on the cellphone in her hand.

_ “Did you see how she ran out that night?” _

_ “Yeah, someone I know said she had a psychotic break.” _

_ “Still a babe, though.” _

Taking a deep breath and plastering a casual facade on her face, she closed the door and headed towards the cafeteria.

_ “Well, apparently she-” _

_ “Someone said that-” _

_ “Have you heard-” _

Eyes and whispers followed Sana as she paced down the hall.

It wasn’t unusual. In fact, after years of building reputation she had, it was expected. Sana should be used to it, enjoying it even. But it was getting harder. Listening to the gossip, people talking about her like she wasn’t there, like she was hardly a person. She wondered when that switch flipped. When did she stop enjoying hearing it as much as they enjoyed saying it?

Students stood in their little clusters, lining the hall, jabbering away about the only thing anyone could talk about. The party. There was of course the standard, who went, who pointedly did not make an appearance, who had to be admitted to the hospital to have their stomach pumped before the clock had even struck 11. But overwhelmingly one topic took center stage. How Momo and Mina fell into the pool tangled up in each other and Sana had stormed out afterwards, effectively shutting the entire affair down. Sana supposed bitterly that she couldn’t really blame them for talking about it. It was the only thing she was thinking about too. 

Despite how much she might wish the opposite, Sana remembered the night in perfect detail. The week leading up to it had been rough. After the blow out at lunch and her subsequent talk with Momo, everything just felt off with her friends. Nayeon and Jeongyeon spent more time alone together, which still grated her more than she wanted to admit, and Momo seemed like she was walking on glass around her, stressed and quiet. In all of their years of friendship, they’d never been this out of sync.

But Sana figured maybe this party could be a way to reconcile. She and Momo could get wild, ease the tension with drinking and flirting. Maybe once they let loose at the party, Nayeon and Jeongyeon would revert back to their single selves, and Sana would be able to stand being around them for longer than fifteen minutes. It could be like old times, before every interaction was laced with strain and hesitation.

Of course it hadn’t panned out that way.

Momo seemed only more strung out, drowning her anxieties in anything she could mix together in a solo cup. If anyone appeared the closest to how they used to be, it was Nayeon, playing the part of the perfect hostess, throwing back shots and getting in the thick of the dancing. But she was showing a considerable amount of restraint and searched the scene for her girlfriend every two minutes. And the Jeongyeon Sana knew before her relationship was dead in a ditch somewhere. She hardly seemed happy to be there and only got mopier as Nayeon had to focus more attention on the party. She disappeared upstairs after one drink, squeezing Nayeon’s hand in a vomit-inducing farewell and leaving Sana alone with an absolutely plastered Momo clinging to her body like a koala. She disentangled herself to walk around the party, needing fresh air.

She made her way through Nayeon’s admittedly expansive house, not dancing or getting really into it, but just observing. She ran into people from school, girls she’d been involved with in the past, girls trying to be involved with her in the future. It seemed like everyone was there, but she didn’t want to interact with any of them. 

It was incredible how different the party seemed when she looked at it from her new perspective. The wildness of it all, the thrashing and crashing and the searing heat of being in the middle of a crowded room and knowing everyone was paying attention to only you, didn’t give her the kick it used to. Actually it was making her a little nauseous. 

She might have gotten a bit too far into her own head. It was a party, she was supposed to be having fun, drinking her friends under the table and indulging the girls begging to hang off her arm. But she couldn’t will herself to pursue the sophomore making eyes at her across the room. The drink Nayeon had happily greeted her with at the beginning of the party was set aside, bitter to the taste.

Sana was in a mood, to say the least. She couldn’t get her mind off her worries long enough to enjoy herself and the throbbing base permeating throughout the house was only aggravating things. Determined to find some respite, she shouldered her way past sweaty bodies and made her way to the pool. There at least the air was laced with chlorine instead of weed and instead of dodging drunken teens, she could look at the stars while she thought about her crumbling friendships.

They’d been in such a good place, for so long. In eight years she’d never felt this uneasy about their relationship. If Nayeon and Jeongyeon hadn’t gone and changed all of the dynamics, disrupted that long-standing balance, than they wouldn’t be in this mess and Sana wouldn’t be moping on the outskirts of the party she should be owning. And no matter what Momo said, Sana couldn’t shake the feeling that there wasn’t something more happening, another bridge being built that would only pull Sana’s last friend further from her.

Just as she began to wonder if she should leave, Sana looked up and saw Dahyun standing at the door.

Oh, Dahyun. That girl. Ironically, Sana felt like the only thing connecting her to her previous life was this new challenge. When Sana was chasing after Dahyun, it felt like she was really herself, in a way she couldn’t really explain. She supposed the thrill of the chase was the best distraction she could get from this whole situation. And Dahyun was just, so good at providing that thrill. 

Everytime Sana caused the familiar red to bloom in Dahyun’s cheeks, she felt something like a rush of adrenaline. Everytime Dahyun stumbled over a word, Sana glowed with pride. It was the most addictive, exhilarating feeling, made her feel better than any party she could remember. She supposed it was probably a side effect of the uneasiness in the rest of her life, the technicolor of every scene she shared with Dahyun only so bright in comparison the conflicted grays of everything else. But really, who could blame her for calling the girl over, if only to get another taste, another burst of color flashing before her eyes?

It hadn’t gone exactly the way she intended. Sure, there was a strong start, but Sana could feel the weight in the back of her mind, slowly dragging the conversation down, and had to apologize for what had happened at lunch. Maybe it wasn’t so much the altercation itself that she was upset over, but the fact that she had impeded on Dahyun’s space and then gotten aggressive. It wasn’t cool, and Sana was a firm believer that impeding on a girl’s space was something best left to when they were alone, and Sana could have more fun with it.

Maybe sitting next to each other at a party. Or something like that.

The conversation did take a bit of an upswing, they had some banter and Sana got the rush of seeing the blush spread across Dahyun’s face. And then the mood changed again. This time in a even more preferable way.

Dahyun got nervous, Sana leaned in deeper. It was like her body was on autopilot, knowing exactly what to do without having to think. She felt back in her element. The world narrowed to the two of them. And she almost got the girl to kiss her.

Then you know what happened next.

Sana was too shocked to react for a second. She was jarred, so abruptly ripped from the cloud of bliss she had been in. The fog that quickly dissipated and left behind the confusion she had been feeling before, mixed with a newfound anger.

Sana met Momo’s eyes and somehow in her inebriated state, Momo seemed to realize what she had done. She pushed away from Mina and tried to paddle over to the side of the pool, but she’d never been the strongest swimmer, certainly not when she’s drunk, and Sana was already standing up, stalking away. She didn’t want to hear excuses, explanations, anything. She felt like she was the one dunked into that pool, and this was her desperate swimming for the surface. But she couldn’t find which way was up.

Sana brushed shoulders with Nayeon on her way out of the door. 

“Hey, where are you going?”

Sana paused, wondering if maybe she should slow down, explain what had happened and her conflicted feelings and everything that had taken dominion over her mind since the beginning of the school year. Maybe this was her chance to get some air.

Nayeon turned away from her, eyes scanning the crowd. “And have you seen Jeongyeon anywhere?”

Sana gritted her teeth, and kept walking.

And that was how she ended up here, torn between stomping her way to the cafeteria with all the anger she could muster or taking as much time as possible to avoid the confrontation at all. That’s what she’d done over the weekend, ignoring texts and attempted phone calls, knowing she’d snap if someone tried to talk to her about what had happened. But she was starting to feel like she was going to snap anyways. Every emotion in her heart felt so volatile, not even a word would be necessary to set her off.

At last Sana made it to the double doorway of the cafeteria. She zeroed in on the table in the back corner where she knew her friends would be sitting: Nayeon and Jeongyeon on the far side, with Jeongyeon next to the window, and Momo saving her seat on the near side. The same way they’d sat since third grade. A configuration she’d never really thought about all that much. But it was like a tree you never noticed outside your window, a constant you never recognize until you see that it’s been cut down. 

Because Momo wasn’t saving her seat today. It was already taken. By Mina.

Not even a word was necessary.

Sana approached the table, the casual mask she adopted for the halls, the one she should have been able to drop around her friends, frozen on her face.

“You’re in my seat,” Sana said by way of greeting, the chillness not lost on her nor anyone else at the table. Mina wouldn’t meet her eye, but Momo put on a brave face.

“Sana,” she greeted, valiantly brushing aside the frostiness of her tone. “Hey! I couldn’t reach you all weekend, but I wanted to tell you-”

“She’s in my seat.” Sana wouldn’t relent, staring down Mina’s bowed head.

“It’s Mina,” Momo said, hesitation beginning to creep into her voice. “You know Mina. You run a club with her.”

Sana sniffed condescendingly. “Well,” she said. “There’s a lot of people I thought I knew. Can’t be too careful these days.”

Immature, sure, but Momo took the hit of the insult, biting her lip and looking down. Nayeon and Jeongyeon looked between them like they were playing tennis with a time bomb. 

“Listen,” Momo started. “I know there’s some stuff that happened that we need to talk about, so if you could stop being so dramatic-”

“Oh, am I being dramatic?” Sana asked. “You’d know all about drama. Tell me, could you have come up with a bigger spectacle for breaking my trust?”

“I wasn’t trying to break your trust, Sana, it wasn’t like that,” Momo insisted. “It was just-”

“It was my fault,” Mina said. Everyone’s focus turned to her, and though she seemed to shrink under the weight of their attention, she persisted. “I initiated it, she was drunk, she didn’t know what she was doing.”

Momo looked at her agape. “Mina, no, that’s not what-”

“You better believe she didn’t know what she was doing,” Sana said scathingly, staring disdainfully down at Mina. “She isn’t going to throw away our entire friendship, certainly not for you. I mean, she’s stupid, but not that stupid.”

The sting of the comments hung in the air. No one seemed to know how to react. The cafeteria might have been active around them, but it felt as if the world had stopped spinning.

Mina broke the silence. “I’ll just go,” she said in a small voice.

“What? No, come on, you don’t have to-” Momo started, but Mina shook her head, standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“We tried, Momo,” she said, patting Momo’s hand consolingly. “It’s fine.” Her voice quivered, the only betrayal of her casual demeanor.

“Mina,” Momo called after her, standing up to reach out, but Mina walked calmly away, steps tight like she was holding herself back from breaking into a run. Sana watched her go with an unplaceable emotion. It didn’t feel like the victory she expected. 

Momo tore her eyes from Mina’s retreating form and rounded on Sana, who hadn’t moved to take the seat she was so set on.

“How could you do that?” Momo asked, aghast. Nayeon and Jeongyeon looked equally taken aback, twin nervous eyes and hesitant mouths.

“How could I do  _ that _ ?” Sana returned. Whatever thin facade she’d maintained was abandoned entirely, burned away from the inside by the anger Sana had let brood and grow in silence. “Momo, what the hell, you lied to me! Directly to my face, about something you knew I cared about!”

Guilt surfaced in Momo’s features, but it wasn’t enough to erase the anger. “Listen, if you would just let me explain, instead of yelling at my girlfriend-”

“Girlfriend?” Sana asked, incredulous. “You’re dating your drunken hook up?”

“Her name is Mina!” Momo nearly shouted. “You know that! And yeah, I know I was drunk at the party, but it’s more than that.” There was an insistent emotion weighing in her words. “She means something to me.”

Sana scoffed. “Oh, she means something to you? What does our friendship of eight years mean to you?” She exhaled deeply, the fire set in her mind spitting sparks. “You lied to me,” she repeated. “You told me it was casual, your exact words were ‘it doesn’t mean anything.’ What, did you develop feelings for her over the weekend? God, I’m the stupid one. I knew you were lying. I knew you were falling in too deep with Mina, but I let you lie to me. Because I thought you were my friend. And I never wanted to think my friend would betray me like that.”

“Betray?” Momo asked, her voice getting higher with passion. “Why is my happiness a betrayal to you? Maybe if you were really my friend, you’d care about me having something good in my life.”

“Are you saying you weren’t happy before?” Sana challenged. “You had nothing good in your life?”

“No, Sana, stop putting words in my mouth,” said Momo, frustrated. “You know that’s not what I meant-”

“I didn’t realize it had been so hard for you, being friends with us all these years. Really, if all the emotional support and mutual care for each other was weighing on you so heavily, you should have said something. When you were going to fail science in seventh grade, Jeongyeon wouldn’t have helped if she knew how hard it was making your life. All the sleepovers when we told each other we’d never stop being friends, that must have been so difficult to sit through when you knew you didn’t mean it.” 

A line had been crossed. Something wounded flashed in Momo’s eyes, and she snapped. “Jesus, Sana, why are you so trapped in the past? You cling to this flirting thing that we started in  _ elementary school  _ and get pissed when the rest of us move on. We haven’t had a sleepover since we were fourteen, and that’s not my fault. And all this emotional support you’re talking about? Nayeon and Jeongyeon are in a happy relationship and all you can do is be bitter. I try to make things work with the first girl I really care about and you have to go and ruin it. You need to grow the fuck up. Before you hurt more people that care about you.”

Momo grabbed her bag and ran out of the cafeteria, followed by the eyes of every student in the room. Silence echoed loudly in the space, and through the fog of her passion, Sana suddenly realized how closely watched the whole argument had been. It didn’t help her anger.

She nearly growled, slamming her hands on the table. Nayeon jumped as far back as she could while sitting on the bench. Jeongyeon leaned forward hesitantly, hands stretched out with caution. “Sana, maybe you should calm down…”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Yoo Jeongyeon!” Sana looked at the two of them accusingly. “What? I guess you’re siding with Momo then?”

“It’s not about siding,” Jeongyeon said. “We aren’t picking between the two of you. But you shouldn’t have said that to her, or to Mina. ”

Sana groaned angrily. “Of course you’d say that.”

“Because it’s true, Sana,” Nayeon said. “Listen, this isn’t how we wanted to talk to you about it, but,” The two shared a look, and Sana’s raw nerves were rubbed just a little more. “We’ve been thinking about saying something for awhile. We think maybe you are a little to invested in the past.”

“You’ve been talking about me?” Sana asked, disbelieving. “And, you, you agree with Momo?” She shook her head in shock. “I’m not too invested in the past, I’m invested in keeping our friendship alive. And clearly I’m the only one.” 

“You’re not the only one,” Jeongyeon said. “We are all trying to keep our friendship together. But maybe part of that is learning to see other points of view on the situation. Momo might have lied to you but that doesn’t make her points any less valid.”

Sana was at a loss for words. This was not how she saw any of this turning out. Jeongyeon and Nayeon weren’t supposed to team up against her, Momo wasn’t supposed to yell at her, and somewhere deep down she knew she wasn’t supposed to have started it at all. 

“No, you know what?” Sana picked up her head, eyes directing her full fury at the couple across from her. “I don’t have to listen to this. You two get into a relationship and you think you know everything. And you’re talking about me behind my back now?” She shook her head again. “I guess it all really did mean nothing. You two and Momo can enjoy your new lives without me. I’m sure it won’t be too difficult for you.”

As Sana left the cafeteria, she almost felt like something was chasing her. She picked up the pace, fueled by resentment and bitterness, ignoring calls from behind and allowing poison to push her out of the school and towards her car in the parking lot, steadily ahead of reality. But she reached her car and she had to stop, and it all seemed to catch up with her.

What was she doing? None of her actions matched her motives and none of her motives seemed to have any reasonable origin. She’d just shouted at the only three girls she’d been able to rely on since her childhood. And why? Because they were happy and she wasn’t? Because they’d managed to find other people that meant something to them? Because they didn’t need her anymore?

It was all hitting her in waves, and she didn’t know how to react. There was a bitter taste in her mouth, the residue of harsh words spat in the wrong direction. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes and she squeezed them shut, forcing the emotion down.

Why was she so upset with her friends, she asked herself, nails cutting crescents into palms, when she should really be upset with herself?

 

“Momo could barely stay afloat, some of the kids standing at the edge of the pool had to fish them out. But by that point, Nayeon came out and was making everyone leave,” Jihyo said.

“And just when it was getting good,” Chaeyoung bemoaned. 

Dahyun walked beside them silently, trying to zone out as Jihyo filled Chaeyoung and Tzuyu in on what had happened at the party. She focused on the uproar of the cafeteria a few halls ahead, or the assignment due next week in math class, anything but The Story. It was starting to get stale, hearing it repeated by every mouth in the school and in her own mind any time she was left alone with her thoughts.

“So are Momo and Mina together then?” Tzuyu asked.

Jihyo frowned, shaking her head. “I don’t know. Believe me, I’ve tried to find out, but Mina won’t answer any of my questions.”

“Maybe we don’t know the full situation,” Dahyun piped up. Her attempts at blocking it out had failed miserably and her instinct to defend the unrepresented party finally overruled her better judgement.

“Oh, please, the situation seemed clear enough,” Jihyo turned to Dahyun, stare blunt. “And I have questions for you too.” 

Dahyun, not very convincingly, feigned aloofness. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jihyo wasn’t backing down. “Don’t think I forgot about what I saw you doing before they fell into the pool. I swear, you and Sana...”

Chaeyoung perked up, interest piqued. “Sana? What about her? What happened?”

“Nothing,” Dahyun insisted. 

“I wouldn’t call the closing distance between your mouths nothing,” Jihyo said, side eyeing her.

“What?” Chaeyoung exclaimed. Tzuyu’s eyes widened.

“It’s not what, we weren’t-” Dahyun protested in vain. The passion on Chaeyoung’s face told her she wasn’t getting out of this without an explanation. And she didn’t have one for herself, let alone for her friends.

Before her awkward stuttering could go on for too long, Mina jogged down the hall from the cafeteria, her entire body quaking. A shaky hand covered her face, and she wasn’t looking where she was going.

Tzuyu, the closest, reached out to stop her, concern written on all of their faces. “Mina, are you okay?”

Still trembling like a leaf, Mina looked up, recognizing them, and appeared to relax slightly, though the sadness didn’t fade from her eyes. “I, Sana and, and Momo,” she struggled to get the words out. Chaeyoung stilled her shaking hands with her own.

“What happened?” she asked. Mina shook her head, eyes getting wetter by the second.

“Did Momo already break your heart?” Jihyo asked. She didn’t say it coolly, she almost seemed genuinely concerned. But there was another quality there in her voice.

Mina turned her head with her eyes lowered, hesitance in her tone. “No,” she choked out, although they had obvious reasons to doubt the truth of that statement. Her legs looked like they were about to give out.

“Come on, you don’t have to lie to us,” Jihyo wrapped her arms around Mina’s shoulders. She was being comforting, but it didn’t feel right to Dahyun, and Mina seemed to feel the same way.

“It’s not like that,” Mina insisted. “Momo just-”

“Why are you making excuses for her?” Something dropped in Jihyo’s tone. The concern seemed to slowly drain away, replaced by something harsher. “I always told you this would happen if you got involved with her. And look, I’m right. I hasn’t even been a week and she’s already hurting you.”

Dahyun exchanged tense looks with her friends, feeling like intruders as the situation escalated. Mina shook her head, taking a deep breath so she could get a full sentence out. “She didn’t hurt me, she was trying to-”

“Mina, she clearly did hurt you,” Chaeyoung interjected. “It’s okay, though, we can-”

“No, it’s not okay,” Mina said. She took her hands from Chaeyoung’s grasp, pulling them to her chest.  “It’s not okay for you to be talking about her like this. She was trying to defend me and-”

“Would you need defending if it weren’t for her and her insane friends?” Jihyo asked, harsh skepticism outweighing care. “Mina, I swear, we’re only saying this because you need to hear it. It’s tough love.”

“I don’t need tough love from you.” Mina pulled away from Jihyo’s grip, hurt painted on her features.

“Why, are you getting enough from Momo now?” Jihyo’s tone was accusing. Seeing her act like this while Mina was on the brink of tears made no sense to Dahyun. It sent bolts of discomfort worming through her stomach. “I have always tried so hard to help you-”

“I don’t need your help,” Mina could hardly meet her eye, trying to hold herself together. “I know Momo, I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” Jihyo asked. “Because I don’t think people who know what they’re doing in a relationship end up running away crying.”

Mina finally gathered the courage to look up, returning Jihyo’s gaze with equal indignance. “People who are trying to help their friends don’t start lecturing them when they come to them crying.”

“Mina!” Everyone looked down the hall as a familiar voice echoed from the direction of the cafeteria.

Jihyo looked back to Mina scathingly. “Oh, listen, it’s your girlfriend. Maybe she’s coming to finish what she started.”

Mina looked so wounded and disbelieving. “You don’t even, you have no idea,” she stumbled over her words, breathing with difficulty. She looked between the four of them like she couldn’t recognize the people in front of her. And then she ran, halfway down the hall into the girls bathroom. The squeal of the hinges and the bang as the door closed echoed in the silence of the hallway.

Dahyun was in shock. She looked between the people standing there with doubt. Jihyo’s brow was furrowed and she stared intensely at the spot Mina has just left. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu looked back at her in similar discomfort, but they weren’t about to say anything. Dahyun wanted to scream, it was so unfair.

“Jihyo,” she started tentatively, trying to keep the emotion of her voice in check. “How could you say that to her? She was hurting.”

Jihyo scoffed. “She did this to herself, I was only trying to help.”

“She needed comfort,” Dahyun said. “I know you have your problems with Momo but you shouldn’t take them out on Mina.”

“I try to give her advice and she ignores me. She doesn’t have any right to expect comfort from me,” Jihyo tried to speak assuredly, but there was a flicker of doubt in her tone, like maybe she realized she had made a wrong move, but she was too proud to admit it.

“That’s not, come on,” Dahyun looked to her friends for support. “Tzuyu? Chaeyoung?” But they wouldn’t meet her eye. “You guys, really? You’re just going to let…” She couldn’t finish the sentence. She felt such a strange, unidentifiable upwelling of emotion. 

“Fine,” Dahyun said. “But she’s hurt, and I’m going to go help her.”

She strode away, hopefully with more confidence than she actually felt. She knew they were watching her leave. She stopped at the door to the bathroom, taking a deep breath.

Dahyun eased the door open, conscious of the eyes on her back but even more conscious of the fact that Mina might not want to be disturbed. The bathroom was empty except for the two of them. Mina stood at the farthest sink, knuckles straining white against the rim and tears splashing down as she struggled to stop them. 

Dahyun rushed to pull some paper towels from the dispenser and approached her gently. Looking up and seeing who it was, Mina sniffed and bit her lip, trying her best to stay composed. 

She reached out for the paper towels. “Thank you, Dahyun,” she said weakly.

Dahyun opened her mouth, not sure what she could say in this situation to make it better.  “I’m sorry,” she tried, “for what happened out there.” That wasn’t much of anything. “It, uh, it wasn’t cool.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Mina said, dabbing at her eyes.

“No, I know, it’s just,” Dahyun struggled for words. “You didn’t deserve that. I should’ve stepped in or something.”

Mina looked sideways at her. “You’re here now.”

“Yeah,” Dahyun said. “For whatever you need. Seems like you’ve had a rough day.”

“‘Day’ doesn’t really cover it,” Mina said. “It’s been a long time coming.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Dahyun asked. 

Mina shook her head, but then seemed to reconsider. “It’s just…” She exhaled deeply, crumpling the paper towels in her hand. “It’s just so much, with Jihyo and Momo and all of them. Jihyo and how protective she is and…” She trailed off. “She’s always been like this. I met her in middle school, right after I moved here from Japan. I was so awkward and I couldn’t really talk to anyone because I hardly spoke the language. And then on the first day, she sat down next to me when I was eating alone in the cafeteria and she just, took me under her wing. And she pointed to these four girls sitting across the room and said ‘Don’t ever talk to them, they’ll hurt you’.” 

Mina’s voice was deep, contemplative. “I still remember, just as she said that, chocolate milk shot right out of Momo’s nose. And I thought to myself, ‘they don’t look that bad’. But I listened to Jihyo. Because she’s just like that, you know? She could tell you the Earth was flat and you’d believe her.”

Dahyun nodded, because she absolutely understood. Jihyo had told her the same thing, and she’d believed it. How long had she spent, avoiding Sana, sprinting down the hall in the other direction if she so much as heard her voice? All because Jihyo had told her one thing, and why would Dahyun need to doubt someone so trustworthy?

“But as time went on,” Mina continued, “it got harder and harder to believe. Because I got to know them. I joined the dance team and Momo was nothing but kind to me. Sure, she was a little flirty and goofy, but she wouldn’t laugh at me if I couldn’t get a step right and she helped me when I didn’t know the language all that well. Then she brought me to Japanese club and introduced me to the rest of her friends.

“Nayeon and Jeongyeon...” She searched for the right thing to say. “Well, even before they were dating, they were untouchable. Nayeon was this pretty, popular, perfect girl, with the big parties and the bigger personality. Jeongyeon was the star in sports or school or whatever she set her mind to. They were so far beyond anyone’s league, that’s what drew everyone in. When Momo introduced me, they were so intimidating, but they talked to me, about moving and school and never made me feel inferior.

“Sana was so bubbly and happy and welcoming. Sure, she was a flirt, all of them were, but I could talk to her about how much I missed my home and my culture and she listened to me. She has such a reputation for being so surface level but she’s deeper than that.”

Dahyun swallowed, clearing the choked feeling coming up in her throat. She related to Mina’s words more than she wanted to admit. 

“And Momo,” Mina said, “God, Momo. She’s such a dork. She’s so cute and funny and down to Earth.” She broke from her reminiscing and looked up, almost expecting judgement, but Dahyun didn’t give her any. She just nodded, prompting Mina to keep going. 

“But all this time, when I’d dance with them or laugh with them, there was this voice in the back of my mind saying ‘These people are going to hurt you’. And you know what? That voice wasn’t even wrong.” She started picking at her nails, as if what she was saying was going to be hard and she needed to focus on something else. “I watched Momo work her way through the entire cheerleading squad before the end of my freshman year. Nayeon’s admirers blocked the entire East hall on Valentine’s day, trying to stick notes in her locker, and you could just see how much she was reveling in it. For a decent part of last year, Jeongyeon had a literal fanclub that followed her around from class to class everyday until the faculty shut it down.”

Dahyun might have laughed at that, if it weren’t for the heaviness of the atmosphere and the notable name unlisted so far.

“And Sana,” Mina continued. “If you listen to the rumors, there isn’t a person in this building she hasn’t been involved with in some way. But that’s just the problem, with all of them. It’s all rumors and hearsay and worship or hatred, nothing in between. You feel like you never know anything about them for sure.”

Dahyun nodded, once again feeling like their circumstances were far too similar.

Mina went on. “And then, last week, Momo texted me and said she want us to meet and talk alone. But it was right after everything happened at lunch so I was hesitant, I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea. And then she begged me to come to Nayeon’s party. I knew it was an awful idea but I was so tired of being confused and never knowing where I stood. So I gave in.

“When I found her at the party, she was too drunk to stand up straight, and she slurred out what I’m sure would have been a beautiful speech if she was sober. She told me about her feelings and she was so honest and vulnerable and,” Mina looked up, staring at her own reflection like even she couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “And I just kissed her. I think I caught her off guard, or maybe she was just really drunk. Either way, two seconds later she lost balance and pulled me into the pool. I think you were there for that.”

Dahyun remembered the moment in painful clarity. The cheers of the crowd, Jihyo’s look of confusion and objection, Sana’s hot breath still too close to her face until none of her warmth was there at all. Sana had stormed away and Dahyun felt lost again, alone in a sea of people she didn’t know or didn’t want to face. When Nayeon came out and told everyone to leave, she was more than happy to do so. She found Chaeyoung and Tzuyu on the front lawn, looking absolutely wrecked and like they’d had a lot more fun than she had. She spent the ride home in deep silence and contemplation, and in a way she’d been the same state ever since. 

She nodded for Mina to continue. “Surprisingly, one drunken kiss and a quick swim didn’t do much to clear up my confusion. But Momo called me the next day and apologized for being drunk during our first kiss, because she’s such a sap like that. We kept talking for hours. I told her about how confused I felt and she asked me to be her girlfriend. For real, feelings and commitment and everything. God, I was so happy.” For a second a real smile seemed to break through on Mina’s face, but it turned bitter almost instantly. “And now look what happened.”

“What did happen?” Dahyun asked hesitantly. “Jihyo didn’t really let you get a word in.”

Mina grimaced. “Momo and I decided we were going to try and explain everything to Sana, because she seemed really upset that we were together. But Sana got pissed when she saw that I was sitting at their lunch table and her and Momo got into an argument. I think there’s more to it, I don’t really know. I left pretty quickly but I heard them shouting as I ran out.” Mina sighed deeply. “And then I ran into you all, and for some reason, I expected some real comfort or support.”

“Hey, I’m here for real comfort and support,” Dahyun insisted. “I can’t believe how Jihyo acted, it was so immature.”

“Honestly, Dahyun?” Mina asked wistfully. “I can believe it. She  _ hates _ Momo and her friends. It seems so out of character, but from her point of view, I think it makes sense. She tries so hard to love everyone, but I think she watched to many people she cared about get hurt by them. She’s reached a breaking point and she’s lashing out.”

“It’s still not okay though,” Dahyun said. “You didn’t deserve any of that. Sana and-” She stopped herself from finishing the sentence. It was a slip of the tongue. She was getting too into her head, making the situation about herself. 

“I know,” Mina said. “But you can see how she’d act like that, even if it isn’t okay.” She turned to face to Dahyun. “I don’t want to pry, I know we haven’t really talked about it. But I feel like you might be in a similar situation.”

Dahyun averted her eyes, which only seemed to serve as a confirmation. Mina continued, “I’m not sure what I can say to help. I think this might have to be something you figure out by yourself.”

Dahyun nodded slowly, staring at the tile under her shoes. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her courage and met Mina’s gaze again. “Can I just ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Mina replied.

“Do you regret it?” Dahyun nearly spit the question, trying to get it out before her bravery failed her. “Trying to be happy with Momo, even though all of this happened?”

It was Mina’s turn to take a deep breath. She mulled it over for what felt like weeks, tension high in the air. “No,” she finally said. “I don’t regret it.” She looked to Dahyun apologetically. “I’m sorry I can’t say anything more to help.”

“No, thank you,” Dahyun said. Her head started churning, her brain trying to process what all of this meant for her. “You helped a lot.”

The door to the bathroom burst open and Momo stumbled in, breathing heavily like she had just finished a race.

“I’m so sorry, some stupid hall monitor was on a fucking power trip and wouldn’t let me past.” The quiet tension of the room was broken by Momo’s arrival and replaced by something much softer and brighter as she rushed over, wrapping Mina in a tight embrace. “I had to sprint to get away from him but he can’t follow me into the bathroom.”

Mina laughed quietly, but Momo reached out to cup her cheeks, worry still evident in her face. “Are you okay? I’m sorry for what happened with Sana, she’s being a bitch for no reason.”

“I’m sure she had some reason,” Mina said. 

“Yeah, well, no  _ good _ reason,” Momo insisted. “There’s no excuse for what she said to you. I swear I would’ve decked her right there but you ran out and I needed to follow you, and I didn’t think you’d appreciate me getting sent to principal's office even if I was defending your honor.”

Mina giggled, cheeks still tearstained but the sadness seeming to have abated for now. She pulled Momo in for a kiss and it might have been the most tender thing Dahyun had ever seen. Which reminded her that she was standing in a school bathroom next to a happily reunited couple and she should probably give them some space.

She started to back away towards the door, unsure what the etiquette was in this situation, when Momo pulled away. “Dahyun,” she said. “Thanks for helping Mina when I couldn’t be here. I’m seriously grateful.”

“It was nothing,” Dahyun deflected, trying to lighten the mood.

“No, really,” Mina said. Her hand rested on Momo’s chest. “Thank you for listening. And remember what we talked about.”

“Yeah,” Dahyun said. “Yeah, I will.” She nodded goodbye and ducked out the door, leaving the couple in peace, staring into each other’s eyes.

~~~

Dahyun sat alone on the bus ride home that afternoon. It was okay though. In fact, it was probably for the best. She was thinking about a lot.

Everyone saw Sana run out of school after lunch and of course it was the only thing anyone wanted to talk about. The only thing that could have eclipsed one of the notorious four starting a serious relationship was two of them getting in a shouting match in the middle of the cafeteria. Dahyun assumed Sana skipped the rest of the day and drove home. She didn’t know why she was so fixated on it, and tried to focus on something else, but the alternatives for fixation weren’t much of an improvement.   

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were nowhere to be found. Dahyun glanced down to her phone once again, but no new messages had appeared on the screen. Her own messages had been left unread. An uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, precarious on top of all of the other uncomfortable feelings. 

So much had happened that day, that week, that school year, it all whirled around her brain like a cyclone. Her feelings of conflict and slight dejection mingled with more unidentifiable feelings, like how it felt when Jihyo acted earlier and no one said anything, or when she saw Mina and Momo embracing lovingly despite the turmoil that already surrounded their infant relationship. It all coalesced into one big mass of confusion and discomfort that wouldn’t budge from her mind or her stomach or the back of her throat or behind her eyes. It was getting stressful, to say the least. Anyone who sat next to her on that bus would be in for a heaping load of self doubt and teenage angst.

So yeah, being alone seemed like the best course of action.

She got off the bus at her stop and started the trek to her building. The overcast sky did nothing to improve her mood, and the cold wind whipped through the thin material of her uniform shirt. A block from her apartment, she passed the innocent front of a coffee shop and she had to stop in her tracks. Because, God, that coffee shop.

It was there, days ago, huddled in a circle around their drinks, that Dahyun and her friends had decided to go to Im Nayeon’s party. Jesus, what were they thinking? Dahyun had to wonder, what would’ve happened if they just listened to Chaeyoung and stayed home that night? Would anything have been different? It was probably stupid to think, but with the way Dahyun felt right now, she was willing to wonder anything, just to get some sort of explanation.

She was lost in thought, probably staring very forlornly though the window of this cafe, when the bell on the door jingled, shocking her back to reality. The business man exiting the shop gave her an almost dirty look as he walked past and she decided maybe it was time to head home. She gave one last look through the front window. 

And spotted Tzuyu and Chaeyoung, seated together at a table. With drinks in front of them and smiles on their faces. And Dahyun felt her stomach drop to the ground.

They were hanging out in secret now. Without her. It was everything she feared would happen but felt even worse. She knew that high school was going to put strain on them, she knew that their dynamics would shift and it might be harder to all be together at times. But she was right there, looking like a loser, standing alone in front of a coffee shop, watching her best friends in the world just laugh and talk like there was nothing missing. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She tried to pry her eyes away, deciding she didn’t need to take anymore hurt today.

Then Tzuyu leaned in and sheepishly pecked a kiss to Chaeyoung’s lips.

As they pulled apart, Tzuyu glanced through the front window, and her eyes went wide. She’d seen Dahyun. But all Dahyun saw was red.

It seemed like she had two options here. She could keep walking home, stew in this insane mix of sadness and anger for a night and come to school tomorrow with a calmer head and have a reasonable discussion about what she just saw.

Or she could charge into that shop with in a blind rage and demand the answers that she deserved. And with the day she’d had, one option was looking a hell of a lot more appealing.

The little bell jingled a lot more violently as she barged through the door. Tzuyu seemed to be filling Chaeyoung in on what happened and as she approached them, they both turned to face Dahyun with twin expressions of guilt.

Dahyun opened her mouth, ready to lay into them with fury heretofore never seen on the face of the Earth. And then she realized she had no idea what to say.

“You…” she started, nearly trembling with emotion.

“We can explain,” Chaeyoung said quickly, setting out her hands in an appeasing motion.

“Yeah,” Dahyun nodded fervently, “You better fucking explain.”

“Dahyun…” Tzuyu said hesitantly. The curse had made them both flinch. But Dahyun wasn’t about to be calmed down.

“Please, explain what’s going on here. Because here I thought by best friends were just avoiding me, not avoiding me  _ and _ making out in the middle of coffee shops,” she fumed.

“We weren’t-” Chaeyoung started, but was quickly cut off.

“How long has this been happening?” Dahyun asked, looking expectantly at the couple as they grimaced under the pressure.

“Since the beginning of summer,” Tzuyu said quietly.

Dahyun flashed back to the past few months. A summer that was supposed to be their time and their time only, a last hurrah before starting school again, that Dahyun spent mostly alone because Chaeyoung and Tzuyu always had “family events” or “prior commitments”. The assembly, when they both ditched and didn’t seem that upset that Dahyun decided not to. Every afternoon she went home alone because they were working on projects or getting tutoring. The party, when they seperated from her for the sake of “experience” and came back looking disheveled and delighted, clearly not needing Dahyun around to have a good time. Maybe she was just holding them back all along. Why else would they be hiding this from her?

“Five months,” Dahyun said. “You’ve kept this from me for  _ five months _ .”

“We were going to tell you,” Tzuyu insisted. “It was the beginning of high school. We all knew it was going to be awful, and you were already stressing out so much. You had enough on your plate. We didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You didn't want to hurt me?” Dahyun asked, incredulous. “Please, feed me something more cliche. You thought keeping this from me would help? You lied to me for months-”

“Well, you lied about Sana,” Chaeyoung interjected. Dahyun felt herself get whiplash.

“What?” she asked, dumbfounded.

“We know something’s happening with her that you aren’t telling us about, did you think we couldn’t tell?” Chaeyoung continued, gesturing to Tzuyu for support that she did not receive. 

“Chaeng, I don’t think-”

“How dare you,” Dahyun raged. “How fucking dare you get mad at me for ‘something happening’ with Sana, when you two are pulling this behind my back?”

“What was that thing at the party that Jihyo was talking about, huh?” Chaeyoung asked. 

Dahyun remembered the poolside, Sana’s warmth pressed against her, her perfume surrounding her, her lips getting closer. She was flustered for a second, spluttering out, with as little conviction as possible, “We were just sitting by the pool together.” 

Chaeyoung glowed victorious.

“Maybe,” Dahyun came back, remembering the real purpose of all this and regaining her confidence, “I had to find some company at the party because the two friends I’d gone with abandoned me to make out in a closet.” The triumphant light died in Chaeyoung’s eyes.

Tzuyu tried to get back into the conversation. “Dahyun, I don’t think you understand-”

“Sana just had to be your company?” Chaeyoung ignored her and plowed on. It felt like the conversation was a runaway train headed towards a cliff, but nothing would be able to pull the break now.

“You know what, Chaeyoung?” Dahyun asked, seething. “Sana was there. That’s more than I can say for you.” Chaeyoung fell silent, scowling but unable to come up with a response.

“And what,” Dahyun rounded on Tzuyu, “do I not understand? I understand that Chaeyoung is deflecting, because she’s been caught red handed and doesn’t know how to deal with it. I understand that you’re trying your best to defuse the situation, but it isn’t working because you caused this and you can’t just now decide you want to take it back. And I understand, in some twisted turn of events, Minatozaki Sana has been a better friend to me for the past month than either of you.” Dahyun almost could have laughed at that, but no humor welled up in her. She wasn’t any happier than they were that it had come to this.

Tzuyu went quiet, remorse deeply lining her face. Chaeyoung spat out one last scathing response. “Well if Sana’s been so nice to you, why don’t you go be best friends with her then?”

Tzuyu protested. “Chaeyoung!”

Dahyun paused. She frowned, feeling the emotional weight in her body shift, like the falling of a boulder that triggered an avalanche.

“Maybe I will.”

Dahyun turned and walked steadily out of the cafe, fist clenched in the pockets of her jacket. Behind her, she heard Tzuyu calling out for her to stop, but there was a roaring in her ears, and she ignored her.

Dahyun made it maybe block and a half away before she broke down.

The pressure everywhere in her built up too much and she nearly collapsed on the pavement, the blood in her veins turning to lead. Sobs wracked her body, tears streaming down her face. All of the anger had melted and revealed itself for what it really was. Sadness, abandonment, fear. The avalanche had been triggered, but it wasn’t mad. It was hopeless.

Dahyun curled up in a ball on the sidewalk. She knew she looked pathetic. Any passerby who saw a teenage girl crying on the ground would look at her askance, debate if they should help her or simply let the police handle it. But she couldn’t find it in herself to care. There was nothing to be helped. What had just happened? What had she done?

She clasped her shaking hands in front of her, trying to figure out if she was shaking because of the cold or because of the emotion. Probably both. The warmth had left, both literally and figuratively. She didn’t have her friends anymore and the bitter autumn chill was quick to remind her. What was she supposed to do now?

Any other situation, where she felt this alone or helpless, she would have turned to Chaeyoung for her bright comfort and fierce passion or Tzuyu for her even reasoning and quick wit. Wind whistled through the hole where their presence should of been.

Maybe she would have talked to Jihyo. If what happened with Mina hadn’t, if she really thought she could tell Jihyo everything and she wouldn’t get chastised at the very least. But she didn’t feel comfortable doing that. Not today.

So what was she left with? In one afternoon nearly every pillar of support in her life had crumbled. Where could she turn before the ceiling caved in?

Then, like a lamp winking to life at the end of a dark street, she remembered a piece of paper hastily shoved in the back of her binder, a cute message and a phone number scribbled next to a kiss mark in bright pink lip gloss. 

It might have been the genuinely stupidest idea Dahyun had ever had. What made her think that she could use a number she’d probably been given as some joke and actually receive support? Why was she even considering this?

Because it was all she had. And despite what negative thoughts had been placed in her mind, she knew the girl who gave her that note was the best person she could turn to.

With shaking fingers, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She stared at the keypad, thinking about the number she hid in the back of her notebook and resolved to forget about. The number she kept pulling out and examining, trying to decipher the meaning of those digits and how they made her feel, to no avail. The number she memorized in spite of herself. The number that seemed like her only life line in a sea of troubles.

Dahyun steeled herself against the doubts that cropped up in her mind. She was determined, jaw set.  _ Really _ , Dahyun thought, entering the numbers with quivering fingers,  _ it can’t get worse _ .

“ _ Hello? _ ” Confusion. She wouldn’t have Dahyun’s number saved. Dahyun swallowed thickly.

“Hey,” Dahyun started, but she heard how fragile her voice was, barely able to get the word out. She cleared her throat. “Hi, uh, Sana. It’s Dahyun. Could I,” Her voice cracked against her will. “Could I come over?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom there it is! I hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment and tell me what you thought. I'd like to say the next chapter shouldn't take as long but we can only hope. 
> 
> Stream Yes or Yes


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